Haha okay dude.
I'll let it slide for today and allow the BPD troopers to have some freedom to ply their trade.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Haha okay dude.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Haha okay dude.
I'll let it slide for today and allow the BPD troopers to have some freedom to ply their trade.
I hope you live a happy, long and fulfilling life man. Your two sentences made me laugh so hard, instantly felt better.My mind has hard time grasping the situation. Can you message her and tell her you have aids, to stop fvcking contacting you, and to fvck off, and then add her phone number to black list, social number to black list, black list everything basically?
Yep you are on point, I did give her permission to guilt me into it. I`m actually happy to say that she can`t in any shape or form contribute to me as a man or a friend and she does not deserve even a stray thought from my brain.Big rookie mistake, bud. You'll learn.
Nobody guilts you into anything without your permission. Relationships are there to enhance and improve one's life. Tell us again how/why you think she contributes to yours and is deserving of your time?
MEN make decisions and stick to them (IDGAF, Abundance Mindset), "boys" (you I'm afraid) are easy to crack and manipulate.
Good luck.
Yup, we were friends for a couple of months before that, talking on and off.Just a 30 day relationship.
And after getting dumped, you went haywire without sleep for 48 hours, then whilst getting ur insides fixed (PTSD?) these past 2 months you now are contemplating on meeting her.
Nice. Very clever.
Seems like you are the one that has BPD..
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I appreciate your advice and wisdom man, golden is what it is.well funny thing^^, reading books such as
psychopath free
healing from emotional abuse
stop walking on egg shells
no more mr nice guy
sex at dawn
but we're all here to learn right
Codependency, not sure, would say that whenever someone has a problem, I usually can come up with a solution or at least a path to it.OP doesn’t suffer from BPD, he suffers from codependency, low self esteem, and a lack of options. If he was too busy texting/whatsapping ten other sloots to come over and suck his dink, he wouldn’t even be wasting his time writing this thread and wasting any more time on his ex-BPD sweetie.
Childhood is where a man receives his core values (principles - core programming).Yup, we were friends for a couple of months before that, talking on and off.
So the relationship was abusive, me not really getting what emotional abuse and constant stress is I went along with it.
I figured out after these two months that my childhood was so massively fvcked that this was not even a problem for me.
But my body started to break down because of 24/7 stress during those 30 days in hell.
So the ptsd was just a minor side effect, I don`t think anyone here cares about me sharing how being abused can impact your body(boy I have a fvcked up story tho).
Uh, I did not write that I was contemplating meeting her (my bad, did not clarify) texting is probably the farthest I`m willing to go.
I probably am idiotic at this point, bpd is also not out of the question, inquiring about a therapist meantime.
Sht, deep stuff dude, you are right got to dwell on this.Childhood is where a man receives his core values (principles - core programming).
Core values + current principles (how u think) + how you do things = results.
Ur core values will influence how you think and that in return influences how you do things which ultimately yields the results you currently see in ur life.
Think deeply on this and then use this information to be greater then before.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Yes. You have a lot of feminine within you. You overthinking the absolute obvious. Your mind is your greatest enemy. You exist in at a scarcity level because you know absolutely no better. Your best pic forward into an OLD site and get some ass quick, with a different approach.Am I messed up?
To subvert your childhood programming you'll need time to build up multiple principles atop each other for it to gain primacy over ur core values (childhood upbringing).Sht, deep stuff dude, you are right got to dwell on this.
The thing is, the results I have been getting lately are beyond my expectations.
I am tempted to use this situation to learn, but ultimately the question is. Is this hubris?
I have come so far and probably am ****y as fvck, thinking I can milk the bpd(instert any tag you want) for some valuable insight that will enable me not to fvck myself again.
Wrote the post initially, to get some support if people are willing and get some advice on, if I`m being really idiotic right now.
Is this messed up? Am I messed up? It just feels right people telling me I`m an idiot and that I have better things to do...
There's no more to learn, you've learned it. Here's the lessons. Don't tolerate disrespect from women. Don't trade your self respect for sex. Playing psychologist with women can be useful as thought exercises, but don't stick around with a woman who's negatively impacting your life. You'll date plenty more women who will teach you how to set boundaries and not be a push over. Let go of this one before she starts sucking you back in.thinking I can milk the bpd(instert any tag you want) for some valuable insight that will enable me not to fvck myself again.
CBT is the mental equivalent of a suit of armor and a sword. It's fvcking invaluable and it's free. You can take complete control of your life and destiny if you learn to use it effectively.To subvert your childhood programming you'll need time to build up multiple principles atop each other for it to gain primacy over ur core values (childhood upbringing).
Start off by creating a few mantras. This will be your armor and weapon that equips you mentally.
It will take years. Many years but it's worth all the effort.
Alternatively as a stop-gap measure, is 4 you 2 reinvent urself even if you need to take on a new identity.
Good luck.
Thank you for your time and energy writing the replies. I have been doing cbt and got some books on it too in the last couple of weeks.CBT is the mental equivalent of a suit of armor and a sword. It's fvcking invaluable and it's free. You can take complete control of your life and destiny if you learn to use it effectively.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
I was thinking the same thing. 30 days? Oh come on. LolJust a 30 day relationship.
And after getting dumped, you went haywire without sleep for 48 hours, then whilst getting ur insides fixed (PTSD?) these past 2 months you now are contemplating on meeting her.
Nice. Very clever.
Seems like you are the one that has BPD..
I had to look up on CBT - managing problems into manageable sections then solving each one.CBT is the mental equivalent of a suit of armor and a sword. It's fvcking invaluable and it's free. You can take complete control of your life and destiny if you learn to use it effectively.
Yep drugs. Billions wasted on bull$hit. It’s our drug culture.^Funny thing. Eastern comedy channel made fun of America recently, about breakthroughs and discoveries in mental health issues and now practically everyone one in United States has a personal psych he sees almost every month. Get this one, a lot of it is business of selling you a problem so you can spend money dealing with it.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.