Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Contacted by ex with some major psych issues, need some advice

LuceoX

New Member
Joined
Jan 12, 2019
Messages
8
Reaction score
0
Age
31
Just about two months ago I got dumped (realistically it was a 30 day ish relationship). Not so unexpected, seen some signs. Went NC immediately after.
Long story short, I got some traumatic responses at first after the breakup from myself, going into flight or fight for 48 hours straight, no sleep.
By I do not know what miracle, I found some stuff on BPD, started reading. Spent the last two months fixing the insides that got spilled.
Healing pretty good, had no idea that monsters are not just made up for exciting horror novels.

So yesterday I figured, time to put the fox in with the chickens and have a clean year. Last step was removing her from my social media. Figured she would not notice for weeks. Boy! I was wrong! She apparently was obsessing about me and I get a message within the hour.
The message was about; her accusing me of all things not remotely true (Why did we not talk about you being angry?).
Talked for a bit, me trying to be Odysseus with wax in ear. Deflected all the accusations, held that line.
I disarmed her pretty good... happy ending or so it would seem...

Thought about it till this morning, aw I should send her a message that if she wants to talk about something I`m willing, to talk.
She had an episode (rage?) where she blocked me yesterday and unblocked me in the span of 5 minutes, forgot to unblock the messages so I noticed (she confessed).
Somehow it feels like I got guilt tripped into breaking NC, having her on my social media and we agreed to talk (exactly the opposite that I wanted when I deleted her).
But I have seriously no idea about what she wants to talk about. Deadline is this Wednesday, for the talk or some time after it.

Is this an attempt for her to not get abandoned? Or some other weird thing that I can`t see?
Having a gut feeling that this is all bait, seeing if I go for it, then she can say "kidding" just before the stab to the gut.
Any advice?
 

backseatjuan

Banned
Joined
Nov 2, 2011
Messages
4,492
Reaction score
1,676
Age
39
Location
Россия
My mind has hard time grasping the situation. Can you message her and tell her you have aids, to stop fvcking contacting you, and to fvck off, and then add her phone number to black list, social number to black list, black list everything basically?
 

lizardking82

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 8, 2016
Messages
1,901
Reaction score
1,536
Contacted by ex with some major psych issues, need some advice? Bro, you don't need advice at all. Reread the title of the thread you wrote yourself until you see the reason why this is a no go zone.
 

R.U.G.

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 15, 2018
Messages
1,808
Reaction score
1,195
Hmm, you should not had responded. NC means NC. However, I betcha you can fvck her one more time if you want.. Sex with BPD women, intense..
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
16,066
Reaction score
4,330
Age
44
Location
midwestern cow field 40
BPDs need you to stay on the fringe of their life, but never go completely away. She has no intention other than keeping you there on the edge of her life. Deleting her from social media removed you from that edge. It is easier to not delete her and simply never talk to her. Whatever talk she said was going to happen, just forget about it.
 

image

"If you love women, you must read the SoSuave Guide to Women. It's fantastic!"

Dash Riprock

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2005
Messages
1,238
Reaction score
2,189
Location
Mile High City, USA
Big rookie mistake, bud. You'll learn.

Nobody guilts you into anything without your permission. Relationships are there to enhance and improve one's life. Tell us again how/why you think she contributes to yours and is deserving of your time?

MEN make decisions and stick to them (IDGAF, Abundance Mindset), "boys" (you I'm afraid) are easy to crack and manipulate.

Good luck.
 

Chev.Chelios

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2016
Messages
620
Reaction score
547
Age
28
Location
Spokane, Wa
you attract what you are, bp's keep finding themselves falling in love with their victim and making them abandon them due to passed trauma experiences.

the trauma solely exists in them. the number one rule imo that you must understand to get over this.

borderlines convince you that you are problem while they someselves create the problems.

borderlines have this demonic, evil ability to get you to believe everything's your fault, and that you are the source of their pain and anguish.

this, in their mind.. gives them the rationization that you are the toxic one responsible for their pain and depression, and all the abuse they dish out to you is justified in their eyes.

theirs no helping these people.

the fvcking hardest part getting away from these people is that they actually have amazing traits and great personalities that makes it SO HARD to walk away.

the amazing charming abilitys bpds possese came from a life time of coping and survival mechanisms.

their great personalitys, attractiveness and social ability isn't just a natural thing they are born with. it's a learned survival skill to manipulate and draw people in to their frame.

understanding that the issues are completely 100% theirs and exist inside of them takes the edge off on leaving them and moving on when you hit full recovery you will have only pity on the person.

their life is a living miserable fvcking hell and their toxic evil energy gets into you.

recovery from a borderline is the hardest thing you will do, it's nearly fvcking impossible.

it's harder then anything on the goddman world.

being left shattered into a million peices, your whole reality ripped apart, contemplating suicide for months, walking on eggshells, fearing everything and everyone. losing sleep, waking up every morning with adrenaline pumping through your veins.

youd think you just survived a full military tour in ww2 after the experience of a bpd for fvcking Christs sake.

the only way out is acquiring knowledge and deep trauma healing work.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,497
Reaction score
6,947
Location
Somewhere where's it's none of your business
Just a 30 day relationship.

And after getting dumped, you went haywire without sleep for 48 hours, then whilst getting ur insides fixed (PTSD?) these past 2 months you now are contemplating on meeting her.

Nice. Very clever.

Seems like you are the one that has BPD..
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
8,452
Reaction score
7,903
Age
35
Just about two months ago I got dumped (realistically it was a 30 day ish relationship). Not so unexpected, seen some signs. Went NC immediately after.
Long story short, I got some traumatic responses at first after the breakup from myself, going into flight or fight for 48 hours straight, no sleep.
By I do not know what miracle, I found some stuff on BPD, started reading. Spent the last two months fixing the insides that got spilled.
Healing pretty good, had no idea that monsters are not just made up for exciting horror novels.

So yesterday I figured, time to put the fox in with the chickens and have a clean year. Last step was removing her from my social media. Figured she would not notice for weeks. Boy! I was wrong! She apparently was obsessing about me and I get a message within the hour.
The message was about; her accusing me of all things not remotely true (Why did we not talk about you being angry?).
Talked for a bit, me trying to be Odysseus with wax in ear. Deflected all the accusations, held that line.
I disarmed her pretty good... happy ending or so it would seem...

Thought about it till this morning, aw I should send her a message that if she wants to talk about something I`m willing, to talk.
She had an episode (rage?) where she blocked me yesterday and unblocked me in the span of 5 minutes, forgot to unblock the messages so I noticed (she confessed).
Somehow it feels like I got guilt tripped into breaking NC, having her on my social media and we agreed to talk (exactly the opposite that I wanted when I deleted her).
But I have seriously no idea about what she wants to talk about. Deadline is this Wednesday, for the talk or some time after it.

Is this an attempt for her to not get abandoned? Or some other weird thing that I can`t see?
Having a gut feeling that this is all bait, seeing if I go for it, then she can say "kidding" just before the stab to the gut.
Any advice?
Block on all platforms, avoid communicating with her at all costs.
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
8,452
Reaction score
7,903
Age
35
borderlines convince you that you are problem while they someselves create the problems.

borderlines have this demonic, evil ability to get you to believe everything's your fault, and that you are the source of their pain and anguish.

this, in their mind.. gives them the rationization that you are the toxic one responsible for their pain and depression, and all the abuse they dish out to you is justified in their eyes.

theirs no helping these people.

Just a 30 day relationship.

And after getting dumped, you went haywire without sleep for 48 hours, then whilst getting ur insides fixed (PTSD?) these past 2 months you now are contemplating on meeting her.

Nice. Very clever.

Seems like you are the one that has BPD..
 

Music_czar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
253
Reaction score
290
OP, you’re not the one that has BPD. Don’t believe the feminist shaming.. what happened was you were hooked by a minor trauma bond and guilted into breaking NC through the use of common BPD tactics. They try to suck you back in, to keep you on the back burner, so they know you still care while they’re out sucking other men’s dink.

Don’t fall for it, it’s a common ploy. Don’t explain or respond in any way, or they will suck you back in to their trauma. If she contacts you, simply delete and block or you will become a potato cuck that she laughs about to her friends. Do you want this?

Go NC and stay NC. The woman is sick, and doesn’t even give you sex. Abort, delete, and remain strict NC.
 

Chev.Chelios

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 27, 2016
Messages
620
Reaction score
547
Age
28
Location
Spokane, Wa
well funny thing^^, reading books such as


psychopath free
healing from emotional abuse
stop walking on egg shells
no more mr nice guy
sex at dawn

those books basically explained everything I've gone through of what my ex did to me.

on the flip side i found myself doing the exact same things my ex was doing to me.

sort of like 2 bpd people meeting each other and falling in love, then proceeding to beat the fvcking piss out of each other emotionally lol.

alot of the problems you're facing when it comes to being hurt by a bp could be actually the problems in yourself. the experiencing pain, suffering heartbreak over someone are actually issues inside of you.

if you think youre the issue stop blaming and take full responsibility for yourswlf and heal.

discerning wether she is the problem and you were victimized or she wasn't the problem and you are the one causing the problem is you're job.

I'll tell you now though, thinking girls are monogamous princess creatures that should be you're unicorn forever is exactly the wrong fvxked up belief that isn't true. no girl wants to be some needy crybaby chodes girlfriend..

I know recovering from my ex I to was an equally toxic person probably worse then she was.

but we're all here to learn right
 

Music_czar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
253
Reaction score
290
well funny thing^^, reading books such as


psychopath free
healing from emotional abuse
stop walking on egg shells
no more mr nice guy
sex at dawn

those books basically explained everything I've gone through of what my ex did to me.

on the flip side i found myself doing the exact same things my ex was doing to me.

sort of like 2 bpd people meeting each other and falling in love, then proceeding to beat the fvcking piss out of each other emotionally lol.

alot of the problems you're facing when it comes to being hurt by a bp could be actually the problems in yourself. the experiencing pain, suffering heartbreak over someone are actually issues inside of you.

if you think youre the issue stop blaming and take full responsibility for yourswlf and heal.

discerning wether she is the problem and you were victimized or she wasn't the problem and you are the one causing the problem is you're job.

I'll tell you now though, thinking girls are monogamous princess creatures that should be you're unicorn forever is exactly the wrong fvxked up belief that isn't true. no girl wants to be some needy crybaby chodes girlfriend..

I know recovering from my ex I to was an equally toxic person probably worse then she was.

but we're all here to learn right
OP doesn’t suffer from BPD, he suffers from codependency, low self esteem, and a lack of options. If he was too busy texting/whatsapping ten other sloots to come over and suck his dink, he wouldn’t even be wasting his time writing this thread and wasting any more time on his ex-BPD sweetie.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,497
Reaction score
6,947
Location
Somewhere where's it's none of your business
All I needed to do was push the right buttons and you 2 eager beavers would show up like a dog with a bone hehehe

@Music_czar and @LARaiders85, playing the victim card while continously getting dumped by multiple BPD women suggest that it's you 2 infecting women and turning them into BPD's.

A woman after all is merely a reflection of the man she is with. She will mold herself according to her surroundings. That's a fact.

If it happens once, yeah, it's excusable and a learning experience.

But both of you have multiple experiences lol

Who r u trying to con ?

Is this how you try to make sense of ur own sickness?

I know..I know you'll both gonna get emotional now and start spewing off some nonsensical post to counter this one.

U hv my permission - always glad to assist in ur recovery.
 

image

Put away your credit card.

You can now read our detailed guide to women and dating for free - Right Here!

Music_czar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
253
Reaction score
290
All I needed to do was push the right buttons and you 2 eager beavers would show up like a dog with a bone hehehe

@Music_czar and @LARaiders85, playing the victim card while continously getting dumped by multiple BPD women suggest that it's you 2 infecting women and turning them into BPD's.

A woman after all is merely a reflection of the man she is with. She will mold herself according to her surroundings. That's a fact.

If it happens once, yeah, it's excusable and a learning experience.

But both of you have multiple experiences lol

Who r u trying to con ?

Is this how you try to make sense of ur own sickness?

I know..I know you'll both gonna get emotional now and start spewing off some nonsensical post to counter this one.

U hv my permission - always glad to assist in ur recovery.
Spaz is a feminist mole with NPD as an inside joke. His profile pic says it all..

Go away mr I supervise 10,000 employees yet post 4,300 times (!) on SoSuave in just one year. Go troll one of your other regular websites.

You’re nothing but a feminist homosexual attention wh0re, coming here to try argue with posters and most of us here know it.
 
Last edited:

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,497
Reaction score
6,947
Location
Somewhere where's it's none of your business
well funny thing^^, reading books such as


psychopath free
healing from emotional abuse
stop walking on egg shells
no more mr nice guy
sex at dawn

those books basically explained everything I've gone through of what my ex did to me.

on the flip side i found myself doing the exact same things my ex was doing to me.

sort of like 2 bpd people meeting each other and falling in love, then proceeding to beat the fvcking piss out of each other emotionally lol.

alot of the problems you're facing when it comes to being hurt by a bp could be actually the problems in yourself. the experiencing pain, suffering heartbreak over someone are actually issues inside of you.

if you think youre the issue stop blaming and take full responsibility for yourswlf and heal.

discerning wether she is the problem and you were victimized or she wasn't the problem and you are the one causing the problem is you're job.

I'll tell you now though, thinking girls are monogamous princess creatures that should be you're unicorn forever is exactly the wrong fvxked up belief that isn't true. no girl wants to be some needy crybaby chodes girlfriend..

I know recovering from my ex I to was an equally toxic person probably worse then she was.

but we're all here to learn right
Exactly.

Spot on.
 

Spaz

Banned
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
8,497
Reaction score
6,947
Location
Somewhere where's it's none of your business
Spaz is a feminist mole with NPD as an inside joke. His profile pic says it all..

Go away mr I supervise 10,000 employees yet post 3,000 times on SoSuave in just one year. Go troll one of your other regular websites.

You’re nothing but a feminist homosexual attention wh0re, coming here to try argue with posters and most of us here know it.
And it didn't even take 5 minutes for you to respond LOLL!
 

Music_czar

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2018
Messages
253
Reaction score
290
And it didn't even take 5 minutes for you to respond LOLL!
Because my post you just responded to was 10 minutes ago, obviously I’m online you feminist implant.

You’re a feminist troll, your profile pic says it all. Hopefully the rest of the men here are intelligent enough to realize it.
 
Last edited:
Top