You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
shaunuk said:(it's 'bicep', btw)
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
What are you talking aboot?
Everyone knows you say "hey look at my bicepts"
Hahahahaha,size only means something if your bodyfat is low. Look at fat people,many of them have 18"s+.DJDoomage said:Hahaha, yea, ok, well......... Mine are 16 inches roughly, not after a workout. Im trying to compare because something makes me think its small.
How tall are you and what's your bodyfat? I'm trying to get 16"s while maintaining a single digit bodyfat, got another .5" to go.DJDoomage said:Im not talking about fat hanging off, just the muscle.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Yeah, with 16" arms, it's more likely just a body image. I've talked to a few big, strong guys (250lbs+), and many of them still see themselves as quite small, even though they know that in reality they're notAhhh!!! Well that helps, so like I thought its my self image rather than physical apperance. Hehe.
You might want to use a scalpel and a suction kit to get rid of the fat for measurement then.DJDoomage said:Im not talking about fat hanging off, just the muscle.
DJDoomage said:Im not talking about fat hanging off, just the muscle.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
we have a word for people who flex in those situationsSkilla_Staz said:Haven't you ever been joking around, and just rolled up a sleeve and flexed?
Or, haven't girls ever asked you to flex?
No.Skilla_Staz said:Haven't you ever been joking around, and just rolled up a sleeve and flexed?
I tell them no unless we've just had sex. Really the only time i remember flexing was after a gf asked me to after sex. Suppose it's a reward and i roll my eyes and reluctantly quickly do it. Otherwise I say no.Or, haven't girls ever asked you to flex?
What's that have to do with anything?Or haven't you ever been lifting anything heavy and your veins pop out?
eh, say what you will...Warboss Alex said:we have a word for people who flex in those situations
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.