"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Answer Her Innevitable Question
- Thread starter Freddy1
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Doggystyle
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
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If she says that you are too old tell her that she is too young
It will only be a problem if you act like it is
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Doggystyle said:
I make the AFC mistake of asking her age after she asked my age. OOPs. I know, never ask age or weight. She made me guess her age, so realizing I'm digging a hole, I said 29. She looked about my age but had that non-aged look like I do. So shes says really how old do you think I am, so I say 32. She's 40. That was 1 of 3 AFC mistakes I made. I got brushed off on the numberr close, good learning experience though.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
ADifferentKindofDJ
Don Juan
What if you just met her? I had a situation where a girl asks for my age and then she sorta reel off when I told her the truth.flexion_ said:
Sound advice. Thank you! (Yeah I never really like lieing. It makes me feel bad.)flexion_ said:
I personally dont care what her age is as long as she's 18+ and looks good. :yes:rocky_mtn said:
I like your experience story. Guys have to becareful when a girl ask him to guess her age. If you get it wrong (by stating she looks older that her age instead of younger) she'll have a harry fit over it (you guys know how they could be sometimes):kick: .
Man, I just don't get why you guys make such an issue of the age thing. Like another poster said, it's only a big deal if you make it a big deal.
A younger chick is going to look UP to you by default because society always teaches us to respect our elders. Quite a few of them will even be intimidated by the fact you are older. So you already have that going for you. The problem most guys have is that they go and get all paranoid about how she's gonna react, which blows them out of the water before they ever even have a chance.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again.....make HER feel like she has to qualify herself as being MATURE enough to be with YOU, not the other way around.
PLAY IT UP. Tell her you're worried about getting arrested for talking to her. Ask her what year she graduated high school (with a worried look on your face). Keep reminding her of it even after you know she is attracted to you. If you let a chick put you on the defensive you've LOST. Beat her to the punch in the beginning and it sets the tome for the relationship. I can directly attribute this attitude to at least a couple of my successes with women in the recent past.
YOU are the man. Men get better with age. Women are the ones who should be worried about getting old. You should embrace it and use it to your advantage.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
He's a bud, but damn he was making it difficult. There's no getting rid of him, basically a good dude, the chick's upstairs roommate, and a drinking buddy, but geeezzzz takes a sh!t load of self confidence to keep it going with young HB8.5, I think I did alright and she wasn't to phased.
:cheer:
MacAvoy
Banned
realsmoothie
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 30, 2006
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- 1,064
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With me, the girl usually pops the question after they've gotten to know me a bit through conversation. Then it goes something like this:
girl: "how old ARE you, anyhow?" (smirking)
me: "31"
girl: "no WAY! That's cool"
(and at this point you can see she is suddenly wondering just how much experience you have).
And her age matters little... seems to me like 19 year olds find older guys a bit of a novelty. Of course, 19 year old girls are clinically insane and damned dangerous...
NOTE: For a while, I made the mistake of playing a little game. When she asked for my age, I'd ask her to guess. That made them uncomfortable, and I think it also made me look like I was wanting some sort of validation as seeming "young for my age".
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.