You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
It means that you are attractive, but not making any moves on them. This is making the girls a bit insecure about their attractiveness, they try and rationalise it by thinking you are probably gay and therefore not making the moves on themTheEdgeOf said:A little while ago, a few girls asked my friends, while I wasn't around, if I was ghey. What is that supposed to mean?
Hmm, I thought that it was something like that, but then I started to think maybe I was coming just off as feminine or something like that. But it would make sense 'cause I don't usually hit on every girl I meet. there's just too many of them lol. I'm more about having fun anyway. Sometimes it by hitting on chicks, other times it's just by chilling with friends.Naughtyboy said:It means that you are attractive, but not making any moves on them. This is making the girls a bit insecure about their attractiveness, they try and rationalise it by thinking you are probably gay and therefore not making the moves on them
Honestly? I think it's 'cause I'm so fvcking awesome. Not to sound arrogant, but I'm energetic, charismatic and I have no trouble talking with women. I think that the reason that they think I'm ghey is because I'm just completely un-AFC, but I don't always hit on girls. I guess the combination makes them think that I must be ghey.Bussey said:Why do YOU think they ask if you're Gay? Honest question.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
That is so true. As long as they don't say it offensively it means what Naughtyboy meant.Naughtyboy said:It means that you are attractive, but not making any moves on them. This is making the girls a bit insecure about their attractiveness, they try and rationalise it by thinking you are probably gay and therefore not making the moves on them
Do you get a rap from your male buddies for being feminine? If not, it's what I said in the first placeTheEdgeOf said:I started to think maybe I was coming just off as feminine or something like that
Lol, this is something quite common with me.Naughtyboy said:It means that you are attractive, but not making any moves on them. This is making the girls a bit insecure about their attractiveness, they try and rationalise it by thinking you are probably gay and therefore not making the moves on them
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Let me guess, you have a lisp and talk in a feminine voice.TheEdgeOf said:A little while ago, a few girls asked my friends, while I wasn't around, if I was ghey. It was really confusing, What does it mean?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
It a good thing, (unless you are gay) cause women fine gay men very attractive... Partly cause gay men dont like then and are non caring and because gay men tend to be "pretty boys"TheEdgeOf said:A little while ago, a few girls asked my friends, while I wasn't around, if I was ghey. It was really confusing, What does it mean?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.