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28 YO Man Getting Player by 23 yo Female?

jnMissouri

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Those silly texting games tell me that this is not going to work out. In my experience women who were interested in me would book face to face time, even if it's just a few minutes. I would not text other then convey necessary information.

Treat it like an opportunity for sex and that's it.
Yeah, I had a girl drive 6 hours from the other side of the state to spend 1 night with me every other weekend. She was 10 years younger than me and a solid 9.5. I never once initiated a single date with her.

Wish they were all like that.
 

jnMissouri

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The hard truth i know i needed to hear.

This was a learning excercise. At least i got to have sex with a beautiful woman.

Is there hope for a guy like me that gets attached and hurt like this?. Im hoping that my awareness of the problem is a start.


I literally started thinking this girl was special and that this might go somewhere. My mistake.

The lessons i have learned:
Dont commit
Dont blurt out my feelings they must be earned.
Spin plates.
Slow down.
Focus on me not her, she should compliment my life not become a focus.

I really appreciate your time man.
Silence and distance, as I first read on here from guru, and then had it really reinforced by a friend that worked in numerous situations. For whatever reason can't handle silence. Might have to do with their need for attention and validation.
 
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Yeah I would just end it. A few months in and she is already pulling this $hit? Dumpsville.

But I wouldn't tell her about her bad behavior or let her pull you into the details. She will just use that against you.

Just keep it simple and say that you two just aren't a good fit and better to end it now.

If she ends up being a real b1tch during the discussion and she just needs a good mindfvcking you can say "You just don't have that sparkle I'm looking for".

Guaranteed that will eat at her forever.
She ended it with me first. By text and blamed the current virus which I found funny. She also said she still feels the same and cares about me a lot.

I simply said :

I saw this coming.

Goodbye Kate :)

I will now initiate the no contact protocol. She is gone off social media and I will not message her or respond.

I need help though. I'm a nice guy and I want to fix that. I got burned here and I don't want that to happen again and again.
 

NSX-R

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Find someone else and you’re gonna be fine .
My best friend was exactly in the same situation as yours . 3 months ago he had just broken up with his gf and they reconciled shortly after because he was too much into her . Actually we would discuss the same things you were saying earlier in your topic. That he wants to text her even few hours after their last talk and bs like that . Fast forward 2 weeks ago she went to her parents for a couple of days and he went into a club with a mutual friend of ours . He met a nice curvy chick and banged her for 3 days straight. Guess what ? He forgot almost everything about his gf and what’s the best thing ? He found another girl and he also banged her .

I had a discussion earlier and he was telling me how stupid he was to think all the tike about his now ex gf and he feels so good right now that he spins 2 plates .

Be patient till the virus thing is gone and find someone new . Go NC with your girl and end it . Just remember that you already tapped that meanwhile many of her orbiters dream of even touching her .
 
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Find someone else and you’re gonna be fine .
My best friend was exactly in the same situation as yours . 3 months ago he had just broken up with his gf and they reconciled shortly after because he was too much into her . Actually we would discuss the same things you were saying earlier in your topic. That he wants to text her even few hours after their last talk and bs like that . Fast forward 2 weeks ago she went to her parents for a couple of days and he went into a club with a mutual friend of ours . He met a nice curvy chick and banged her for 3 days straight. Guess what ? He forgot almost everything about his gf and what’s the best thing ? He found another girl and he also banged her .

I had a discussion earlier and he was telling me how stupid he was to think all the tike about his now ex gf and he feels so good right now that he spins 2 plates .

Be patient till the virus thing is gone and find someone new . Go NC with your girl and end it . Just remember that you already tapped that meanwhile many of her orbiters dream of even touching her .
Thank you so much for that perspective brother.

I really appreciate it.

This hurts emotionally but intellectually I know she was gonna torment me if we continued. Making me jealous. Making me feel of low value.

I'm just glad that in the end I managed to hold onto my self respect.

I never thought about the perspective of her orbiters wanting but never going to where I have been. That helps.

I'll keep NC. I'll move on and next time ill spin plates :)
 

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skinnyguy

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We had sex on date number 3 and it was great. I brought her out for valentiness weekend two weeks ago as she said she never really had guys treat her right. The above all followed me treating her well with flowers and chocolates and all of that.
be careful. this chick has been alpha widowed/pumped and dumped. If you're not a player, she might see you as needy.

I wouldn't have done the flowers and chocolates at all. I agree with @Danger. You need to spin plates now. The best way to deal with these girls from the beginning is to not be too available.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Just a few months.

She sent me a voice recording of her friend talking about all of the guys trying it on since she posted a picture of us online. I ignored it.

She said she has a particular guy trying it on with her all the time and never confirmed she has shut it down.

My head is fried at this point. Things were good for a while then she just changed one day.
"Trying it on"?
 

mrgoodstuff

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be careful. this chick has been alpha widowed/pumped and dumped. If you're not a player, she might see you as needy.

I wouldn't have done the flowers and chocolates at all. I agree with @Danger. You need to spin plates now. The best way to deal with these girls from the beginning is to not be too available.
He did flowers and chocolates? ( head palm )
 
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It really takes them to keep lying, cheating, treating you like dirt, abuse for a man to figure it out.
Things I have learned:
Availability will kill desire.
Their words don't mean ****, their actions do.
They don't know what they want or how they want to be treated.
Put them on a pedestal and they will see you as a peasant.
Don't tell them how you feel make them earn it.
You have to be the prize.
Don't react to their emotional outbursts.
Spin plates, evaluate red flags, don't jump into an LTR.

I really loved this oneitis but tbh I felt the pain long before she dumped me. This girl tormented and emotionally ****ed me up. She led me on, played games, made me jealous and made me feel like i was worthless. She saw my kindness for weakness(it was and I see that now).

**** this I'm not doing this again.
 
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She is gone off social media?

As in she blocked you? Deleted your account? Or you blocked her?
I removed her as a Facebook friend. Ubfollowed her on Instagram. She still follows me.

I still have her on WhatsApp but will not message her. Nor will I respond unless she begs and even then still probably not. Her message said she still has feelings for me but the distance was too much particularly due to the quarantine. This is likely bull****.

I have accepted she is gone although my feelings are hurt.

I guess all I can do now is recover and spin plates
 

bat soup

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Hey guys,

I am a beta who found game. I used this game to acquire a solid 8/9 out of 10. It was what you would call a oneitis nice guys dream. We are dating over a month now. Right from the start it was complete transparency about how we felt for one another. We agreed there was the potential for something serious and we texted incessantly.

During our dates I felt in control and showed leadership but also my soft and vulnerable side. I let her in and also expressed I was conscious of getting hurt but would go for it anyway.

In any case, we see each other on weekends and right since the beginning there were constant **** tests. One after the other it was kind of exhausting. And now she is playing hot and cold with me. She went from constant texting to short and not getting back to me as well as leaving me on 'seen'. I gave her the same treatment when she first began being cold and it resulted in an angry voice message calling me out.

We had sex on date number 3 and it was great. I brought her out for valentiness weekend two weeks ago as she said she never really had guys treat her right. The above all followed me treating her well with flowers and chocolates and all of that.

I have really strong feelings for this girl but it feels like she is trying to emotionally manipulate me. She is literally doing to me what she called me for doing (even though I just attempted to give her space as I picked up on low interest cues).

We had an argument on Sunday as she cancelled plans so I said I would hang with friends, she called me petty for including that in my reply and said I "must be afraid of being alone".

Am I just being a oneitis beta here? Can I recover my frame? What would you do?
She sounds like a biatch, but you're putting up with it because you think that she's a 9 and you consider yourself a beta. Also, it seems like you're playing a lot of games and she knows how to play these games a lot better than you because she has more experience. My advice would be to meet other women and get ready to either get dumped or have to dump her.

Maybe, if you don't mess up too badly you can keep her as a fuakbuddy when you find out whose **** she's sucking.
 
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