I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
This is about a different girl. I was writing about a crazy woman who prompted my first post on Sosuave. I'm sure the psychiatrist has some issues, but she doesn't seem as bad as this one.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Another interesting thing: a few days after she hit on me, I saw her hanging out with a guy with definite boyfriend energy.
Are you in SoCal OP?
No, SF Bay Area
Tough field to play in. Best of luck. Sac town girls may be easier if you don't mind the drive. Farm girls can get easily bored.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Omg, quit giving this girl attention
OP lives in the hardest metro to game in the US. This is a typical woman's behavior there. He probably needs to relocate if women are a high priority for him.
Nowhere is harder than Nashville, Tn lol. You have to look like Riley Green or Orlando Bloom to have a shot at a 5 there.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Relocate. The only folks hooking up in that neck of the woods from The 1970s-the present have been Village People
It is not. Even though "plate theory" is traditionally taught as a masculine framework designed to build an abundance mindset, women are the natural plate spinners. The underlying logic is even rooted in historical courtship where women would entertain multiple suitors while evaluating who was the best option before being exclusive with them. They would accept attention, dates, gifts, and attention from several men simultaneously, which allowed them to compare their characteristics before deciding who they wanted to commit to.
Good point. Younger men can pull this off, and it comes off as cute. For me in my 50s... I might as spray on female repellant.
She moved away. I have this feeling she'll be back--somewhere, somehow--though.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Like a serial dater who can't quit her favorite/most hated app, most likely
Like a river that don't know where it's flowing, she took a wrong turn and now doesn't know where she's going. Everyone's got a hungry heart
There you go, and now you have your answer. Women who show low interest are often that way simply because they are not interested, have a man, have other priorities, or are self-sufficient enough that their needs can be met on their own rather than by someone else. Sadly, if she was attracted to you, the pull wasn’t strong enough for her to monkey branch to you.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.