You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
This is about a different girl. I was writing about a crazy woman who prompted my first post on Sosuave. I'm sure the psychiatrist has some issues, but she doesn't seem as bad as this one.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Another interesting thing: a few days after she hit on me, I saw her hanging out with a guy with definite boyfriend energy.
Are you in SoCal OP?
No, SF Bay Area
Tough field to play in. Best of luck. Sac town girls may be easier if you don't mind the drive. Farm girls can get easily bored.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Omg, quit giving this girl attention
OP lives in the hardest metro to game in the US. This is a typical woman's behavior there. He probably needs to relocate if women are a high priority for him.
Nowhere is harder than Nashville, Tn lol. You have to look like Riley Green or Orlando Bloom to have a shot at a 5 there.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Relocate. The only folks hooking up in that neck of the woods from The 1970s-the present have been Village People
It is not. Even though "plate theory" is traditionally taught as a masculine framework designed to build an abundance mindset, women are the natural plate spinners. The underlying logic is even rooted in historical courtship where women would entertain multiple suitors while evaluating who was the best option before being exclusive with them. They would accept attention, dates, gifts, and attention from several men simultaneously, which allowed them to compare their characteristics before deciding who they wanted to commit to.
Good point. Younger men can pull this off, and it comes off as cute. For me in my 50s... I might as spray on female repellant.
She moved away. I have this feeling she'll be back--somewhere, somehow--though.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Like a serial dater who can't quit her favorite/most hated app, most likely
Like a river that don't know where it's flowing, she took a wrong turn and now doesn't know where she's going. Everyone's got a hungry heart
There you go, and now you have your answer. Women who show low interest are often that way simply because they are not interested, have a man, have other priorities, or are self-sufficient enough that their needs can be met on their own rather than by someone else. Sadly, if she was attracted to you, the pull wasn’t strong enough for her to monkey branch to you.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.