"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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How courteous are you with industry workers?

Travel memoir21

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Worker: (( me at a drive thru)) Welcome to Whataburger, May I take your order?

Me: Hey how’s it going?

Worker: ((( silence))

Me: Okay, I’ll take 3 number 1 please….

There goes my attempt at being courteous lol. How courteous do you try to be with restaurant employees? That seems to be a lost art.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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BaronOfHair

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Worker: (( me at a drive thru)) Welcome to Whataburger, May I take your order?

Me: Hey how’s it going?

Worker: ((( silence))
-The worker may not have heard you

-He/she/whatever pronouns they currently fly under may have replied, and you didn't hear he/she/Zyglxyz

-The drive thru may be AI operated, and thus unable to actually converse with patrons

Similar to a gal not providing a fella her "deets", once he's approached, the possible explanations are myriad. The perks of ruminating on such events for more than 3 minutes are more questionable than The White House's assertion that it's tussle with Iran = A matter of national security
 

Travel memoir21

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-The worker may not have heard you

-He/she/whatever pronouns they currently fly under may have replied, and you didn't hear he/she/Zyglxyz

-The drive thru may be AI operated, and thus unable to actually converse with patrons

Similar to a gal not providing a fella her "deets", once he's approached, the possible explanations are myriad. The perks of ruminating on such events for more than 3 minutes are more questionable than The White House's assertion that it's tussle with Iran = A matter of national security

Went to Starbucks this morning…they seemed nice, those dudes seemed ideal to start a dialogue with. Drive thrus though, it really depends how you come off and the mood of the workers.
 

plumber

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in a distant past i was a service worker when young. i liked it when people would be friendly, very few did that and i always remembered them. a few middle age and older men would give very small tips when they are served (it was not a business that expected any tip). i always remembered those men and gave them much better service (faster, better, and respectfully). almost 100% of the complaints came from middle aged women who would be rude, cheep, and entitled. young men (ahh.. less than 30-40 years old) at that time would be dismissive and arrogant often trying to scam something. young women would usually be polite and professional.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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BillyPilgrim

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Went to Starbucks this morning…they seemed nice, those dudes seemed ideal to start a dialogue with. Drive thrus though, it really depends how you come off and the mood of the workers.
Ideally you want to have a way to take stock of their mood first.

I just had a relative ask me for my Thanksgiving plans while sending me 2 videos they made in the same text. Now I have to watch these videos first instead of simply telling them "yes, I am coming for Thanksgiving".
 

corrector

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It sounds like you are hungry for connection because you are back in America rather than the Philippeans where you felt more like a human being rather than someone who is disrupting someone else's day by trying to exist, lol

Welcome back to America. That's all I can say. It's nothing personal, when women are mean or not being polite back, it just means that don't have the looks. Someone who does has a far different experience than us. If you didn't visit the Phillipeans or get a decent experience there to contrast America experience then you'll think you are a loser here when you are not. It's just not the right environment or social climate where these things get you somewhere with women in another country/culture. Here you are just an annoynace.
 

kzar_kzar

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Worker: (( me at a drive thru)) Welcome to Whataburger, May I take your order?

Me: Hey how’s it going?

Worker: ((( silence))

Me: Okay, I’ll take 3 number 1 please….

There goes my attempt at being courteous lol. How courteous do you try to be with restaurant employees? That seems to be a lost art.
ohh — thought you mean working girls ;) -

ya I’m nice with both , get roasted from retail (industry) girls from time to time- I’m not in USA
 

BaronOfHair

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Akin to asking:

"Should I commit crimes, on account of the fact that quite a few folks(many of them members or The US government)do so, without ever being apprehended and prosecuted? if so, how many should I commit, and what sort?

Are shoplifing and credit card fraud A-OK, while murder and p-dophilia both steps too far over the line? Or is murder perfectly acceptable, so long as I confine myself to carving up ragamuffins sleeping beneath the nearest overpass, and allow surburbanites making 6 figures or more to remain unmaligned?"

Behave honorably because the planet is a saner place when more of us do so. Whether or not some/many choose to do otherwise is immaterial
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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BackInTheGame78

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This might be more of a "wrong place, wrong time" thing than anything.

The drivethru is predicated on speed and getting customers through it as fast as possible. They actually have metrics that get tracked for this and likely tell them to not engage in small talk that will extend or waste time.

This would be more apt if you were in a sit down restaurant or even if you walked in and did this at the counter when they weren't super busy.

Drive thru probably isn't the place for that as their focus is getting people in and out expeditiously.
 

corrector

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This might be more of a "wrong place, wrong time" thing than anything.

The drivethru is predicated on speed and getting customers through it as fast as possible. They actually have metrics that get tracked for this and likely tell them to not engage in small talk that will extend or waste time.

This would be more apt if you were in a sit down restaurant or even if you walked in and did this at the counter when they weren't super busy.

Drive thru probably isn't the place for that as their focus is getting people in and out expeditiously.
Is this true @Hamurabimbi? You pick up girls all over the place, probably including drive-throughs, lol!
 
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