Pep talk needed - GF cheated

[FuzzX]

this is more autistic than alpha

Autistic people need love too.

Describe yourself to me in three words: I'm not sure.

 

[Glassguy]

this is more autistic than alpha

Kicking a cheating bytch to the curb is autistic? Thats funny.

And crying around and deciding to take back a chick who has been fvcking and sucking another dude is beta AF.

 

[Bigpapa]

Kicking a cheating bytch to the curb is autistic? Thats funny.

And crying around and deciding to take back a chick who has been fvcking and sucking another dude is beta AF.

I think it is normal to feel like vitali klitsko hit you in the stomach after a thing like this happened , no matter how alpha you think you are

 

[Glassguy]

Not sure if anyone has realized this or not, but OP has not responded back to the thread since starting it.

 

[Glassguy]

I think it is normal to feel like vitali klitsko hit you in the stomach after a thing like this happened , no matter how alpha you think you are

I never said it didnt. In fact I said that the situation sucks. Does getting cheated on and other forms of getting knocked down by life hurt? Yes.

How long you lay there in the fetal position crying about it is up to you.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I hope he comes back to this thread and reads it.

OP, you said you still feel like you love her. This is not so. You are addicted to her. Women are a drug. You are actually in love with the idealized, imaginary version of this woman, who she is not and who can never be. You love what you wish she actually was.

This woman is trash, and you need to kick her to the curb completely. Destroy or put away every single remembrance of her and walk away. You will never be able to salvage a relationship with her. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Being a deceiving cheater is what constitutes her core. Don't let her feminine affectations seduce you into trying again with her. You will lose big-time.

 

[Glassguy]

I hope he comes back to this thread and reads it.

OP, you said you still feel like you love her. This is not so. You are addicted to her. Women are a drug. You are actually in love with the idealized, imaginary version of this woman, who she is not and who can never be. You love what you wish she actually was.

This woman is trash, and you need to kick her to the curb completely. Destroy or put away every single remembrance of her and walk away. You will never be able to salvage a relationship with her. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Being a deceiving cheater is what constitutes her core. Don't let her feminine affectations seduce you into trying again with her. You will lose big-time.

You are correct. Its not the WOMAN that the man misses after a break up, its the having someone there and the HABIT of the daily texting, sex, etc. Another reason why rotations work so well. Toss one to the side that isnt fitting the bill, next one up. Never upset because of the constant flow or both pvssy and attention.

It takes 17 days to create a habit. It also takes 17 days to abolish a habit.

And I bet OP doesnt come back to the thread.

 

[BJP1991]

Not sure if anyone has realized this or not, but OP has not responded back to the thread since starting it.

Sorry, I’ve been busy but have been reading responses.

I appreciate you all so much. Your words are inspirational and help me see more clearly what I already know needs to be done.

Full NC. Blocked on all formats, including email which was how she was trying to communicate. I knew this was the right thing.

I love you all

 

[Lookatu]

Sorry, I’ve been busy but have been reading responses.

I appreciate you all so much. Your words are inspirational and help me see more clearly what I already know needs to be done.

Full NC. Blocked on all formats, including email which was how she was trying to communicate. I knew this was the right thing.

I love you all

Like others said, it's going to be hard brother but just keep your head up and keep looking forward. Don't be afraid to post your feelings if you need positive reinforcements here from your SS brothers to help you get through it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Like others said, it's going to be hard brother but just keep your head up and keep looking forward. Don't be afraid to post your feelings if you need positive reinforcements here from your SS brothers to help you get through it.

Continuing to talk about the negative feelings and bad situations serve to keep them ALIVE in your mind. One can choose to focus on something beneficial and to remove thus distraction.

 

[Lookatu]

Continuing to talk about the negative feelings and bad situations serve to keep them ALIVE in your mind. One can choose to focus on something beneficial and to remove thus distraction.

This would be ideal but not realistic for everyone.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

This would be ideal but not realistic for everyone.

The ability to do so represents an incredible amount of focus and power which may be immediately used for another purpose. It's really hard to do... The key is recognizing when those thoughts are creeping in, and being vigilent about it.

 

[Barrister]

Continuing to talk about the negative feelings and bad situations serve to keep them ALIVE in your mind. One can choose to focus on something beneficial and to remove thus distraction.

I think when you first breakup that talking about it for a limited amount of time is not only beneficial but necessary. However, I agree 100% with you that after you have discussed it once with your closest people it's time to stop talking about it at that point. Dwelling and continuing to bring it up only amplifies the negativity.

 

[Lookatu]

I think when you first breakup that talking about it for a limited amount of time is not only beneficial but necessary. However, I agree 100% with you that after you have discussed it once with your closest people it's time to stop talking about it at that point. Dwelling and continuing to bring it up only amplifies the negativity.

Fully agree with both of you, @Barrister and @mrgoodstuff. Initially is good but you can't harbor on it too long and eventually have to move forward.
The biggest thing that separates out real men from feminists is that feminists always lives in the past crying and playing victim role.

OP, as I've said before in other threads, you can let a bad situation like this defeat you, define you, or strengthen you. Don't be like a feminist and let it defeat and define you. Let this strengthen you and move forward.

 

[Glassguy]

Initially is good but you can't harbor on it too long and eventually have to move forward.

A good rule of thumb- allow yourself to mourn/digest/process for 2 days......3 days max......then bury it and move on.

 

[Baibars]

I think it also depends on the circumstances. 1 year relationship with a random chick you didn't share much with is different than a marriage where kids are involved. The exit is far easier in OP's situation and he should be grateful that she disqualified herself from his life.

 

[TheProspect]

This thread, because of all the really good high-quality advice in the replies, is one of the best threads I have ever read on SoSuave... and probably the best regarding breakups, specifically when cheating is involved.

This is what this forum is for.

 

[jimwho]

Good for you op, staying busy and keeping your man card. This thread taught me that we've all been there and I will
Share some humor. My LTR ended and I was on day four sitting in my backyard drinking feeling all butthurt. My Basset hound jumped up on the bench, looked at me and barked. Why do I Tell you this? Because my dog never ever barked.
I thanked her, gave her a hug and knew it was over because even my dog knew I was simping!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Fully agree with both of you, @Barrister and @mrgoodstuff. Initially is good but you can't harbor on it too long and eventually have to move forward.
The biggest thing that separates out real men from feminists is that feminists always lives in the past crying and playing victim role.

OP, as I've said before in other threads, you can let a bad situation like this defeat you, define you, or strengthen you. Don't be like a feminist and let it defeat and define you. Let this strengthen you and move forward.

Very fvcking good point. That particular group would use this one incident to harden and weaponize themselves against all men. Instead of letting it go getting better and move on.

 

[jimwho]

A basset that doesnt bark?!?!

She would whine "big time" about anything to get her way. but very rarely barked.