Your Top 10 Red Flags to Look Out for

soulforge

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outside of maybe two or three of these… literally all my exes
Begs the question... Why did you get yourself into a relationship with a girl with this many red flags
 
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member160761

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01. Obsessed with social media
02. No father figure in her Life
03. Involvement in p0rn or modelling
04. Claims to have been graped
05. Identifies as a feminist
06. Has leftist liberal values
07. Rude/bicchy attitude
08. Suffers from depression or on meds
09. Claims all her exes are Aholes or toxic
10. Terrible communicator
Numbers 4, 7 and 10 make the average millenial girl.
 

Borknagar

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Ha ha a lot of good examples but I have a challenge for you all: an attractive women with none of these red flags.
 

Dr.Suave

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Ha ha a lot of good examples but I have a challenge for you all: an attractive women with none of these red flags.
An attractive woman with no red flags? i dont think its impossible but its gonna be super hard to find, pull & keep around.

You would have to both "be the best version of yourself" and luck out (right time and place). If we change "attractive" to "at least passes the boner test" then there is a slightly better chance.
 

Borknagar

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An attractive woman with no red flags? i dont think its impossible but its gonna be super hard to find, pull & keep around.

You would have to both "be the best version of yourself" and luck out (right time and place). If we change "attractive" to "at least passes the boner test" then there is a slightly better chance.
There's a problem: this woman can't exist and be single at the same time. Completely impossible.
 

RangerMIke

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1. Tries to change what you planned for a date.
2. Sharing too much too soon.
3. She b1tches about her exes.
4. She is messy.. messy car, messy purse, messy home.
5. Too much overseas travel. This is a big one... vacations take priority over everything else. This demonstrates a willingness to spend money on meaningless stupidity.
6. Too religious (unless you are religious yourself, I suppose) as an agnostic I find this annoying.
7. She has a drug or drinking habit.
8. Can't put her fvcking phone down.
9. No eye contact.
10. Is boring and doesn't put in an effort on a date.
 

BeExcellent

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1. Tries to change what you planned for a date.
2. Sharing too much too soon.
3. She b1tches about her exes.
4. She is messy.. messy car, messy purse, messy home.
5. Too much overseas travel. This is a big one... vacations take priority over everything else. This demonstrates a willingness to spend money on meaningless stupidity.
6. Too religious (unless you are religious yourself, I suppose) as an agnostic I find this annoying.
7. She has a drug or drinking habit.
8. Can't put her fvcking phone down.
9. No eye contact.
10. Is boring and doesn't put in an effort on a date.
Strictly out of curiosity I find 5. strange. You are in your 40s or 50s right? You've started seeing people around you pass away in all liklihood. As I've reached my 50s, lost my parents, other relatives and some friends, I've reached the conclusion that "stuff" or "things" don't matter and you cannot take them with you when you die.

Based on the above I have arrived at the conclusion that the important things in life are the relationships you build, the experiences you have or share with others, and the quality of those 2 things. A distant 3rd for me are achievements/accomplishments.

While I agree that someone who travels to party is one thing, it's quite something else if someone is traveling to see certain cultural, regional or geographic things. Many people work for years to have the means to go on safari in Africa or see Antartica for example. So if someone is into travel for enrichment in their lives, that's dfferent in my view than going to Tomorrowland or Ibizia, although there are those who find that enriching too I suppose.

I do not buy the mantra of work your ass off all your life, accumulate things/stuff and then die leaving whatever you have for your heirs to sort out or fight over.

I'm already giving things to my kids while I can see them grow & enjoy the things I pass along.

Perhaps its a slightly different philosophy and 5. is very specific to you. I don't find experiences like I mentioned above "stupid." And so much the better if you can share those experiences with those you love.

Just a few musings as the old lady occassionally does.
 

Fruitbat

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Strictly out of curiosity I find 5. strange. You are in your 40s or 50s right? You've started seeing people around you pass away in all liklihood. As I've reached my 50s, lost my parents, other relatives and some friends, I've reached the conclusion that "stuff" or "things" don't matter and you cannot take them with you when you die.

Based on the above I have arrived at the conclusion that the important things in life are the relationships you build, the experiences you have or share with others, and the quality of those 2 things. A distant 3rd for me are achievements/accomplishments.

While I agree that someone who travels to party is one thing, it's quite something else if someone is traveling to see certain cultural, regional or geographic things. Many people work for years to have the means to go on safari in Africa or see Antartica for example. So if someone is into travel for enrichment in their lives, that's dfferent in my view than going to Tomorrowland or Ibizia, although there are those who find that enriching too I suppose.

I do not buy the mantra of work your ass off all your life, accumulate things/stuff and then die leaving whatever you have for your heirs to sort out or fight over.

I'm already giving things to my kids while I can see them grow & enjoy the things I pass along.

Perhaps its a slightly different philosophy and 5. is very specific to you. I don't find experiences like I mentioned above "stupid." And so much the better if you can share those experiences with those you love.

Just a few musings as the old lady occassionally does.
I agree with you and disagree.

travel is one of my loves and I agree with your view on things here.

I have a friend who spent his whole life accumulating and not having experienced. His mortgage is paid off and he’s doing better than me. When he gently teases me, I always explain that I’ve spun records to 2000 people off my bonce on E, I’ve been arrested for smuggling and my name is on interpol! I’ve smoked crack for a weekend with a stripper, I’ve been married to a schiphrenic, I’ve succeeded in evading a police chase, I’ve been in a jail cell, I’ve got drunk with politicians, done Charlie with a serving police officer, flown a plane several times, camped wild in Greece and made my plane money home building roads….i could go on and on. I’m a father too now, and straight as they come, no more naughty antics!

These experiences are part of the reason I’ve still got a mortgage. But would I swap it? No. I have a lifetime of experience to look back on.

however, what OP is getting at is a wife or girlfriend who has very high spending habits and irresponsible attitudes to money.

It depends where they go too. I would have an interest in a woman who went to day, India or Nepal to see the himylayas than one who just did the predictable Dubai trip with ****tail pictures.

some women their lives are making pictures on Facebook. One I know always makes a big deal about her and her HB flying business class and I hate this attitude: business class to Dubai, what a load of stupid nonsense to blow your kids inheritance on meaningless crap.
 

RangerMIke

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Strictly out of curiosity I find 5. strange. You are in your 40s or 50s right? You've started seeing people around you pass away in all liklihood. As I've reached my 50s, lost my parents, other relatives and some friends, I've reached the conclusion that "stuff" or "things" don't matter and you cannot take them with you when you die.

Based on the above I have arrived at the conclusion that the important things in life are the relationships you build, the experiences you have or share with others, and the quality of those 2 things. A distant 3rd for me are achievements/accomplishments.

While I agree that someone who travels to party is one thing, it's quite something else if someone is traveling to see certain cultural, regional or geographic things. Many people work for years to have the means to go on safari in Africa or see Antartica for example. So if someone is into travel for enrichment in their lives, that's dfferent in my view than going to Tomorrowland or Ibizia, although there are those who find that enriching too I suppose.

I do not buy the mantra of work your ass off all your life, accumulate things/stuff and then die leaving whatever you have for your heirs to sort out or fight over.

I'm already giving things to my kids while I can see them grow & enjoy the things I pass along.

Perhaps its a slightly different philosophy and 5. is very specific to you. I don't find experiences like I mentioned above "stupid." And so much the better if you can share those experiences with those you love.

Just a few musings as the old lady occassionally does.
I turn 57 this week!

Good question... and I should clarify though analogy. If someone has the means and ability to travel... great. Travel. But I know a woman who lives to travel. She is 40... she finds a job, works for 9 months... quits, then takes 3 months off traveling overseas, comes back... gets another job... rinse and repeat. She is getting to the point where she knows this is not sustainable.

I know a couple of other women I used to date, who did the same thing, both these women... before their attractiveness hit the wall, found men with money, willing to marry them taking on their massive debt... and messy finances. They both reach out to me occasionally, of course I do not know what is going on in their minds, but I never take the bait. I am not the morality police, but I know the dangers and emotional chaos that would result in being involved with a married woman. They married these men for reasons other than true love.... I do not know why any man would settle for this.

I suppose it really isn't fair to single out 'travel', I suppose anyone that obsesses over anything expensive to the detriment of the future is a red flag. I have a male friend that obsesses over his collection of baseball cards, visiting MLB parks like he is visiting shrines. I love baseball... but if I let baseball dominate my life the way he does... well I would be miserable, and if a woman didn't want to have anything to do with him because of this obsession, I would not blame her.

I travel but I'll take maybe a couple of weeks, then it's back to the real world... no one except my close friends and family know I do this... and where I go is definitely NOT some exotic cool place... my idea of a great vacation is to go to places that no one would ever think to go... (Ice fishing in Finland, camping on glaciers in Greenland, horseback riding in Mongolia) but mostly I just travel in the US to do hiking and camping in National Parks. Nothing goes on social media, IMO I am not trying to impress anyone... I do these things to completely unplug and will only look at my smart phone to check if there is an emergency.

So I'll modify my position and say anyone that spends too much time obsessing over any ONE THING, is a red flag. But in my experience, many women are obsessed with travel as a mechanism for garnering attention and flaunting their ability to do this... if you try to build a life with them, as a man you better make d@mned sure you can afford to do this because you are going to have to spend to maintain her travel fix... most men can not do this.
 

BeExcellent

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Fair enough. It's true. Hubby & I travel as we can, often for his sport, some secondary to work, some for fun/leisure. I'd never post photos of the airplane accomodations, how silly. I do post some photos of our travels for 2 reasons: 1. As a condensed memory file for me to peruse, while at the same time 2. Sharing with family & friends what we are up to in a condensed way. While my parents are dead, his are not but they live far away and they appreciate seeing where we are going & what we are doing.
 

BaronOfHair

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Dunno if anyone's mentioned these yet, nonetheless:

-She's got a rap sheet stretching back to her early adolescence-all points prior, to go along with all that ink on her flesh. F-cking RUN, as far and fast as you can, especially from any woman who's only in her 20s, yet already like this. Depending on where you live in The US, broads like these are more endemic than is frequently acknowledged

-She's "clean" now, yet began boozing and hitting hard drugs regularly before she was even out of junior high

-She's committed to "social justice", goes out of her way to make sure everyone is away of her Preferred Pronouns


--She's Political with a capital P more generally, and flips out anytime someone utters any word or sentence which runs contrary to her own beliefs


-She gets all of her "news" from cable TV, talk radio, The Daily Show, John Oliver, or YouTube content creators, and pretty much buys into everything she hears unquestioningly
 

Isildur1

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There’s nothing wrong in warning guys to be aware of potential red flags and I wouldn’t say any of my 5 are particularly outrageous.

1) Girls who overshare way too quickly! Like my recent experience of the girl who told me she was raped by her ex on our first date

Pretty much everyone in the topic I created agreed that it’s best to stay away from any girl that brings up a history of rape or other extremely personal topics to be a big red flag and best avoided.

2) Girls who get too emotional way too fast. Last girl I went on a date with started saying things like “I feel like can trust you” “I can tell you anything” “I feel a connection” she said all these things on the first date

Any girl that gets too emotional too fast is likely to be needy or have deep emotional problems. Nobody falls for someone that quickly.


3) Girls covered in tattoos or piercings. If a girl has a single small tattoo that is well hidden I don’t mind. Pierced ears obviously okay.
However several tattoos or piercings is a instant no.

Annoyingly there has been times where I have chatted to a girl off a app or in real life and didn’t think she had tattoos (none noticeable) Then later asks if I have any and she reveals she has several on her back/legs/hips etc that were covered up.


I guess this could go into personal preference as I know some guys like girls covered in tattoos and piercings (personally I find them unattractive and prefer a woman with clear skin)..
However, in my personal experience, girls covered in tattoos and piercings have always been extremely slutty or alcoholics/heavy drug users.

4) Fat women
No explanation needed. No desirable man should ever settle with a fat woman unless he is desperate and cannot do better.
Unless he has a particular fetish for fatties.

5) Single mothers. I know some guys like to use single mums as hookups.. I would rather just avoid altogether.
Single mums are an instant disqualifier for me, no matter how hot she is. Why date a single mum when there are so many single girls with no baggage. Besides I never want kids so why would I raise/pay for some other guys kid?
I could never even have sex with a single mother if it was a free **** - so much mentally draining baggage to contend with there
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Definitely, if a woman claims to spend all her time and (your) resources “collecting memories”, a she’s a total no-go. Chances are she cannot sit still for a moment because it might require her to examine herself, and most are too afraid to do that, so they travel the world trying to get away from themselves.

“Find someone who speaks your language, so you don’t need to spend all your time explaining yourself to them.”
 
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