"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Your dog will always love you more than your girlfriend.

M

MrJibbles

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How do I know this? Try locking your dog in your car trunk for an hour. Then come back and open it up. Your dog will perk up, tail wagging, eager to see you. He will still love you.

Now try this with your girlfriend. The results will not be the same. She will hate you.

Disregard females. Acquire canine companions.

That is all.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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G

Groovy

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If you did that to your guy friends they would also hate you.
 
F

Fly By Night

Master Don Juan
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Dog's can't open doors nor know how they work. If you let them out, they would think that you freed them from imprisonment.

Sorry to rain on your parade :l
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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corrector

corrector

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MrJibbles said:
. Now try this with your girlfriend. The results will not be the same. She will hate you.
Click to expand...
I don't think so. That's why you have to go on sites like **** and look for a girlfriend who wants to be your slave. You just need to find the right sites or places.
 
SeymourCake

SeymourCake

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Well, we now know who's into bestiality.
 
M

MisterD

Senior Don Juan
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Don't forget a dog will always lick peanut butter off your balls and girls don't do that until date 4.

If you've gone more than 4 dates and a girl hasn't done it, best believe you are an afc sucker getting played and she IS doing it to another guy.
 
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