You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
If this is the case then I think maybe they mean by personality or character. Something they liked in their old boyfriend they saw in you as well. It might not be a physical resemblance but something about the type of person you are.marmel75 said:Don't really have context as this happened like 15 years ago, and I have no idea why I just thought to bring it up.
It happened a lot...basically I would be introduced to a new girl and would be talking to her and they would say this out of the blue...
"You look a lot like my old boyfriend!" or "You remind me a lot of a guy I used to date..."
Usually had a smile on their face after saying it...it got to the point I heard that so many time I started saying "I must have a lot of twins running around out here" or something similar when they said it...probably happened at least 10 to 12 different times throughout the years and usually within the first 10 minutes of talking to the girl...
There are other ways of giving "IOIs" than by mentioning an ex. She did it for a reason. You may see it differently but experience tells me it can definitely be a red flag. Not saying that the line alone means she's going to be a crazy cheater type, but I would watch for other flags.Social_Leper said:Erm..what brah? Not at all. Some girls just do this as a way to open a guy.
It's a compliment. One of the least subtle verbal IOIs I can think of.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I like this one! Adding it to my repertoire, if you don't mind.Danger said:Her: You look just like my ex
You: Let's give it another shot, I'll treat you right this time
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
/future ex-wife!!flashpoint said:what a coincidence, you just look like my new girlfriend