WhitePimp
Master Don Juan
When you keep forgetting time and time again that "nice girls" dont want to be treated like princesses, but like goddamn objects of sex too!
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You know you are an AFC when......
- Thread starter backbreaker
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
DogFashionDisco
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 23, 2005
- Messages
- 296
- Reaction score
- 0
When you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double team your girlfriend...
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
:crackup:DogFashionDisco said:
Good one.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
1. All your base are belong to us.
2. Someone set us up the bomb.
3. You have no chance to survive make your time.
2. Someone set us up the bomb.
3. You have no chance to survive make your time.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
edger
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 13, 2006
- Messages
- 1,874
- Reaction score
- 39
Disagree. This even happens to the best DJ's out there. Does that mean they're AFC?Rollo Tomassi said:
No matter how good of a DJ you are, there is always gonna be some chick that isn't feeling you.
PeterNorthisawesome
Banned
.... when you drop names in conversations without properly introducing the new characters first, so you'll be sitting at your desk waiting for your boss to leave so you can go home early, when suddenly a co-worker will drop by and just start talking about Jack or John or Dwayne, and you're wondering who the hell still names their kid "Dwayne," and when the exact moment was that you decided your life was for sale at an hourly rate of $16.75, give or take a ****ty office party every year and a box of stale donuts in the morning, only to go home to a dumpy apartment in some **** hole state that people more successful than you glance at out of their window as they pass over in a private jet on their way home to bang their hot trophy wives.
backbreaker
Master Don Juan
bad day huh?
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
when you deliberately do more sets of a particular exercise at the gym because you're in the vicinity of a hot girl, or you work out on machines (instead of freeweights) because a hot girl is one or two machines over.
Heheh,..I see this at Gold's every fuggin' day.
Heheh,..I see this at Gold's every fuggin' day.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Vulpine
Master Don Juan
What you say?!!!Desdinova said:Is it me, or does that line never get old?
I got a good one...
When your woman calls, and when you answer, your voice changes to a higher-pitched, softer, "cooing" voice.
:box:
Man, I'll be with some dude, talking all swears and rough, then suddenly "Hello, sweetie. Meow, meow, meow. Poo-poo, goo-goo. Bye."
:cuss:
Like suddenly, their nuts just detach, as if they were held there by Velcro, then as soon as the phone hangs up... back to cusses and rough talk again.
:crackup:
V: "Dude, you never talk to ME in that voice! I like it! Very sexy, sailor. From now on, that's how you have to talk to me... douche."
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I had a roommate that talked like that, even worse once he was sleeping, his phone rang and he answered in a high pitch voice:
"Hi honey! No I wasn't sleeping just sitting in my little bed"
Made fun of him the rest of the year about that one :crackup:
Serialized3
Master Don Juan
Maddox does seem AFC...PeterNorthisawesome said:
PeterNorthisawesome
Banned
Ya he b'tches way too much IMO, he's still funny though. Tucker Max owns Maddox!Serialized3 said: