"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Would you let Jessica Alba....

Would you let Jessica Alba take a dump on your chest ? (she's completely naked)

  • Yes, its my only chance at ever seeing her naked

    Votes: 6 21.4%

  • Hell no ! nobody takes dumps on my chest except for the occasional midget

    Votes: 22 78.6%
  • Total voters
    28
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W

Wiesman44

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I would. You get to see her naked, and there might be a possibly of boning her if your game is strong :moon:
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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S

SELF-MASTERY

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C. NO, I am not an AFC, and I do not overvalue hoes.
 
L

Le Parisien

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Sir, you got a lot of imagination.

Are you sure you are not into scato stuff? Because it sounds like you would enjoy both: her being naked, and her taking a dump on you.

Anyway I voted "no" without hesitation.:cool:
 
D

DogFashionDisco

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someone's been watching Not Another Teen Movie a few to many times...


I sure as hell would. :up:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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S

Slevin

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I don't care who the woman is. If I see any chick drop a coiler, she becomes about as attractive as the mess she made.
 
S

SexinEar

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If I get to fu.k her after then yes its worth it. Otherwise....fu.k no.
 
O

oakraiderz2

Master Don Juan
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Why would you degrade yourself by letting a female sh*t on you? Ill be damned.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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X

XSilverStarboyX

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Im not some sick fvck who lets a girl do things like that. Thats disgusting no matter how hot the girl is
 
A

A-Unit

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Re:

However, I might rim job Vida Guerra, just because her body appears to be composed of something not of this world. I believe her breasts leak Navan Cognac, and her pvssy drips Guinness beer. I have to believe her skin tastes like Caramel, and her azz would taste like potato chips, or something. I've never seen a girl with a more perfect natural body. Have you?

A-Unit
 
W

Wiesman44

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XSilverStarboyX said:
Im not some sick fvck who lets a girl do things like that. Thats disgusting no matter how hot the girl is
Click to expand...

i think u need to relax. This is only a JOKE
 
B

Brian20o2

Master Don Juan
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A-Unit said:
However, I might rim job Vida Guerra, just because her body appears to be composed of something not of this world. I believe her breasts leak Navan Cognac, and her pvssy drips Guinness beer. I have to believe her skin tastes like Caramel, and her azz would taste like potato chips, or something. I've never seen a girl with a more perfect natural body. Have you?

A-Unit
Click to expand...
Totally agree. Best ass I have ever seen. Period.
 
P

pooparu

Senior Don Juan
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In a land called **** it.
A-Unit said:
However, I might rim job Vida Guerra, just because her body appears to be composed of something not of this world. I believe her breasts leak Navan Cognac, and her pvssy drips Guinness beer. I have to believe her skin tastes like Caramel, and her azz would taste like potato chips, or something. I've never seen a girl with a more perfect natural body. Have you?

A-Unit
Click to expand...
LMAO you just made my ****ing day lmao.


But not potatoo chips, dairy queen ice cream.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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