"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Worst chat-up line ever?!?

J

James Bondage

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OK, so I'm bored out of my tiny little mind here at work. There is nothing remotely inspiring happening, so to cheer myself (and hopefully others) up I have a question to pose.

What is the worst chat-up line of all time?!?

Doesn't necessarily have to be one you have used (although I guess you could get extra points for that), but just the most cringe-making jaw-droppingly bad chat-up line you can think of.

Here is mine to start things rolling (and no, I haven't tried it yet!)

Approach a group of girls, and say 'Hey girls, there's a party in my pants and your all invited!!' (complete with cheesy grin and two thumbs up)

Anyone beat that?!

:cheer:
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

W

WhitePimp

Master Don Juan
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I actually said in 8th grade

Me: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Her: "No"
Me: "Want one?"

I mumbled it so it was probably inaudible to her but damn was I sweating like a beast. I probably masturbated like a fiend after that rejection.
 
L

L777

Master Don Juan
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"Nice shoes, wanna f.uck?"
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

T

The Juan and only

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If you can fvck 1/2 as good as your mother then just jump on top honey.
 
S

Soprano

Master Don Juan
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"who lies more?"

"hi!!!!!!!!!!!! whats your opinion on...."
 
S

ShizamDaMan

Master Don Juan
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"How many people have you slept with?"

That's akin to looking a gift horse in the mouth. Guys, you will never like the answer. Ever. Even if it's zero.
 
T

THE_ADDMAN

Master Don Juan
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Shezz said:
Use this in an Ultra ****y tone:

Shezz: Hey girls, can you catch?
HBs: Why?

(Self Point to Genitals)

Shezz: Because theres two ballz coming your way...:crackup:

Sarge On...
Click to expand...

lmao

just pull a Glen Quagmire

Female UPS: *knocks on door* Package! Package for a Mr. Glen Quagmire
Glen Quagmire: *answers door in a bathrobe* oh... excuse me for a second *walks away*
Glen Quagmire: *comes back naked* I got a package for you too! *thrust* alllllriiiight!
Female UPS runs away
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

E

Enjin 7

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Shezz said:
Use this in an Ultra ****y tone:

Shezz: Hey girls, can you catch?
HBs: Why?

(Self Point to Genitals)

Shezz: Because theres two ballz coming your way...:crackup:

Sarge On...
Click to expand...

LOLOL I've used that before and it worked! girls dig comedy :)
 
P

paraguayandj

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Me: U hungry
She: yeah
Me: I got some crabs I can share with you
 
L

LongDrinkofWater

Senior Don Juan
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Hungry?
How about a penis butter and jelly sandwich?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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