"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Worst chat-up line ever?!?

J

James Bondage

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OK, so I'm bored out of my tiny little mind here at work. There is nothing remotely inspiring happening, so to cheer myself (and hopefully others) up I have a question to pose.

What is the worst chat-up line of all time?!?

Doesn't necessarily have to be one you have used (although I guess you could get extra points for that), but just the most cringe-making jaw-droppingly bad chat-up line you can think of.

Here is mine to start things rolling (and no, I haven't tried it yet!)

Approach a group of girls, and say 'Hey girls, there's a party in my pants and your all invited!!' (complete with cheesy grin and two thumbs up)

Anyone beat that?!

:cheer:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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W

WhitePimp

Master Don Juan
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I actually said in 8th grade

Me: "Do you have a boyfriend?"
Her: "No"
Me: "Want one?"

I mumbled it so it was probably inaudible to her but damn was I sweating like a beast. I probably masturbated like a fiend after that rejection.
 
L

L777

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"Nice shoes, wanna f.uck?"
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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T

The Juan and only

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If you can fvck 1/2 as good as your mother then just jump on top honey.
 
S

Soprano

Master Don Juan
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"who lies more?"

"hi!!!!!!!!!!!! whats your opinion on...."
 
S

ShizamDaMan

Master Don Juan
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"How many people have you slept with?"

That's akin to looking a gift horse in the mouth. Guys, you will never like the answer. Ever. Even if it's zero.
 
T

THE_ADDMAN

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Shezz said:
Use this in an Ultra ****y tone:

Shezz: Hey girls, can you catch?
HBs: Why?

(Self Point to Genitals)

Shezz: Because theres two ballz coming your way...:crackup:

Sarge On...
Click to expand...

lmao

just pull a Glen Quagmire

Female UPS: *knocks on door* Package! Package for a Mr. Glen Quagmire
Glen Quagmire: *answers door in a bathrobe* oh... excuse me for a second *walks away*
Glen Quagmire: *comes back naked* I got a package for you too! *thrust* alllllriiiight!
Female UPS runs away
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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E

Enjin 7

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Shezz said:
Use this in an Ultra ****y tone:

Shezz: Hey girls, can you catch?
HBs: Why?

(Self Point to Genitals)

Shezz: Because theres two ballz coming your way...:crackup:

Sarge On...
Click to expand...

LOLOL I've used that before and it worked! girls dig comedy :)
 
P

paraguayandj

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Me: U hungry
She: yeah
Me: I got some crabs I can share with you
 
L

LongDrinkofWater

Senior Don Juan
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Hungry?
How about a penis butter and jelly sandwich?
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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