I’ve been dating/married to my wife for 20 years. I got red pill awoke about 6 months ago and had a ton of anger and resentment. I used the last six months to get in shape, learn about game and prepare for the SMP. Yesterday, I confronted my wife about our sexless, affectionless relationship and she is doing a 180 to fix things. Now I’m torn. Do I try and fix things? My SMV is high and I can def get a younger, hotter girl now. But I do love (yes I’m still a blue pill beta loser) my wife and our family. Thoughts?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Never stop dating your wife is the key. Sounds like you cant place all the blame on her. If shes putting in effort then you should appreciate and reciprocate. If she hasnt been crazy or abusive or anything like that then dont throw it away cuz the pua incels tell u its red pill to dump her.
Plus remember
“its cheaper to keep ‘er”
Plus remember
“its cheaper to keep ‘er”
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Are you guys having sex?
StillSearching
Don Juan
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Keep up Red Pill behavior. You made a commitment, so if she's doing a 180 I'd stay and keep improving yourself. She drops off or stops sex....boom, be out! Don't listen to her words, watch her actions.
If you can't understand why someone is doing something, look at the consequences of their actions, whatever they might be, and then infer the motivations from their consequences.
If you can't understand why someone is doing something, look at the consequences of their actions, whatever they might be, and then infer the motivations from their consequences.
its over because OP needed to argue with her about having no sex
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
None for 6 months. Last night, after the confrontation, she cuddled with me on the couch as we watched a movie. First physical contact in ages.
so she felt no need to touch u for 6 months and u still think u have a chance to save it?
Barrister
Master Don Juan
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Depends on what you want. In my experience from my failed marriage, this exact conversation occurred where she was given an ultimatum and it resulted in about 2-3 weeks of her "doing a 180" until it went back to the way it was before. I think this is nothing more than a temporary fix. Now I think you can certainly continue to do this exact thing multiple times and each time it will improve things for a bit but they will eventually go back to her being cold and distant. I guess you have to ask yourself is it worth going through a constant cycle.
If it was me, I would give her one chance. See how long the "180" lasts. As soon as it drops back off though I think you know the writing is on the wall.
That’s great advice. Maybe I’m too excited about 1 night of attention. Its just been a long time. I will give her this opportunity and then cut my loses.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
She needs to be putting out. That cuddle is a crumb please dont long for it. Some social things with ladies can help. You need to be focus on you.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I’m embarrassed to say it, but yes I think she wants to save it. I’m probably just channeling my inner blue pill and am in denial. But again, my smv is way higher than hers at this point so its not like she could find another me. Chad Thundercock doesnt want my 40 year old wife.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Im sure by now you learned you cannot verbally negotiate these things. Its about her feelings.
Imagine her mindset, how she must look at you and how she got to this point.
Has she had fear of loss yet?
Has she experience competition from another woman?
You cant talk with your words. Only your actions and the attention you give.
I wouldn't support a sexless position.
Do you keep going to a job that refuse to pay you?
Keep working and bytching about it and they still wont pay? What can you do?
Shes punking you out man...
Wow, it's like I'm looking into a mirror. She's not going to change my friend. If you have kids, consider a mistress, not fair for you to have to give up most of your contact with your kids because she "decided" she didn't want to participate in your marriage any longer.
It's not you my friend. You can work you a$$ off literally, to stay connected with your "wife" but it matters little because as a married guy with a family, you've got more skin in the game. It's tough to have someone keep behaving the proper way when they are incentivized to behave badly. Default, she gets kids in divorce. I mean, she'd have to literally be attempting to chop off the kid's heads before they'd even consider removing her from their lives. You on the other hand, you sneeze the wrong way and you're gone. So on comes the wealth redistribution from you to her, alimony, child support, she keeps the house, the list goes on and on.
Better that you keep some on the side than to continue to have to hound your "wife" about staying engaged as an actual wife. If she went 6 months without any physical contact, you really think you confronting her was an epiphany to her? Did she forget to have physical contact with you in those 6 months? Was she so distracted that she didn't have any physical desire and didn't think you wanted any either?
The cognitive dissonance that one has to engage in to ascribe their "confrontation" with their "wife" as a springboard to a better life makes me sad for you. I know, you want to keep your family intact, I get it, I'm struggling with the same issues myself. The reality is, carve out some enjoyment and happiness for yourself, stop trying to force someone into something they don't want to do. If she wanted you dude, she'd be moving heaven and earth to get to you, not you having to confront her. A mistress makes you both happy. She can continue on, lapping up your resources without having to do much and you can be banging some hotter chick and getting your rocks off. Everyone wins.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
2nded for misstress. So long as it doesnt incur extra divorce penalties in your state. Have a true mistress ( not a hooker ) and spend some of the nights over there with zero explanations.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
She is always fearful of me leaving her. But obviously not enough for her to want sex or feel the need to give me sex. Maybe I am getting punked...
**EDIT**
You thinking you "won" because she cuddled with you on the couch after you confronted her is sad. If you confronted her about it and all you got was a cuddle, you're still not getting it. If you confronted her and she proceeded to give you the best sex you've both ever had together, maybe it's a small victory. Maybe if she went down on your d*ck like she was auditioning, maybe you're onto something. A cuddle? She might as well have said f*ck you!
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Since its already done some extremely AGGRESSIVE ACTIONS cant hurt things any worse. We need to write a bible on this position.
So i cant turn my key to the off position and remove it. Its stuck... One common remedy includes pulling gear shifter to rear most position and slamming it forward.
What agressive actions can you tske to burst her bubble a bit and shift her mindstate?
What about lizard brain?
Fight or flight?
Attention and feedback loops?
Competition anxiety?
****. All true. Thank you for pointing it out. I guess I’ll tell myself whatever it takes to keep the blue pill dream alive. But why keep a mistress? Why not leave, get divorce raped once and move on and rebuild?
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
All she has to do is open her fvcking legs. As long as she doesnt detest you her body will start to lubricate once you start moving inside her.
Shes likely taken a position of "theres nothing he can do about it" like so many others. They can do it but choose not to.
It puts her in a toxic controller power position.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.