"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Why do people think Im trying to be better then everyone?

gunit630

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I dress to impress the *****es and some people think that I think Im better then everyone. Do any of yall get this and how do you handle it?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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oakraiderz2

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Thats because theyre jealous and can go **** themselves.
 

tr0ublemaker

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do something that lets them know you don't really give a ****

im pretty much a dirty boy (not hygiene) in clean clothes
 

Delta

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it could also be that you are being INAPPROPRIATE.

if the vibe of the gathering is casual and you are dressed to the 9s, that is actually a social faux pas... on par with being UNDERDRESSED (although when in doubt, it is better to be slightly overdressed, it IS offensive if you are WILDLY OVERDRESSED for the occasion).

this is actually a turn off for women too... more than anything, they seem to want a guy that is APPROPRIATE rather than spiffy.

delta
 

AlekNovi

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I was at that point 2-3 years ago.

Are you somewhat socially anxious, and care what people think when in social situations?

Is this coming from BOTH women and men (who could care less about fashion?)

If so, it happens that people tend to very wrongly misinterpret being introverted for being arrogant (being above them).

When I first started dating and getting more social, girls who knew me from before all told me the same thing (you were so arrogant, and thought you were above everyone else)... How did they conclude that? Because I was well-dressed, yet didn't go and start conversations, and didn't smile all the time (are you mostly expressionless?).

When you aren't very social and talkative, when you are somewhat shy and introverted, people tend to project the worst on you (since you're like a blank emotionless canvas).

If you're socially unskilled AND badly dressed they term you a creep, loser or nerd. If you are dressed good (because creeps, nerds and losers can't be dressed well), then they assume you must be arrogant then, because that's the only reason you wouldn't talk to them and be the life of the party.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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~attrACTION~

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AlekNovi said:
I was at that point 2-3 years ago.

Are you somewhat socially anxious, and care what people think when in social situations?

If so, it happens that people tend to very wrongly misinterpret being introverted for being arrogant (being above them).

If you're socially unskilled AND badly dressed they term you a creep, loser or nerd. If you are dressed good (because creeps, nerds and losers can't be dressed well), then they assume you must be arrogant then, because that's the only reason you wouldn't talk to them and be the life of the party.
Hey great point. This has happened to me a lot recently...I didn't think of it in this way. I'm going to remember this as I try to be more friendly/social.
 

ye yeah

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i got the same,had a friend of mine.. she said "you think your better than us,and everyone else.. your up yourself" and i said "and why do you think that?" and she said "its obvious" and i asked for reasons and she couldnt give me one and she said "but you even do it subtly" lol wtf
 

dap

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i think i might have this problem too.

the solution is to just be more friendly and social?
 

Lost1

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Something similar happened to me, I met this girl and her friend knew me from some class I was in with him. He told her that I was full of myself, I never present myself this way consciencely. I was prolly the louder one of the class i guess this is why the dood was willing to talk me down to a girl. Or he's into her or something.
 

Demon

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gunit630 said:
I dress to impress the *****es and some people think that I think Im better then everyone. Do any of yall get this and how do you handle it?
Your attire plays a part in defining what people think of you. The people with whom you socialize play a part in defining what you think about yourself. Elevate your company! Don't change your dress.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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edmond

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Well done

If you are better than the rest, then well done:rockon: . Most of the people I see, men AND women look like sacks of sh*t. Why should you lower your high standards?
If you are an Alpha, why should you care what the rabble think?
 

edmond

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I forgot

I forgot, try and read fashion or sport books and guide so you find out what makes you look EVEN better, e.g.: types of shirts, colour coordination, posture...
Then no one will criticize you anymore, because you will have left all these little people behind.
Yes, it’s lonely at the top:cool:
.
 

gunit630

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edmond said:
If you are better than the rest, then well done:rockon: . Most of the people I see, men AND women look like sacks of sh*t. Why should you lower your high standards?
If you are an Alpha, why should you care what the rabble think?
Very good point dude. Find people that try to be better. Not people that want you to be the same as everyone else
 

Nexxus

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**** them, they think you wanna be better than everyone cuz you CAN be or ARE better than everyone
 

jigga23

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you wont believe how many people tell me that sh!t about being too cool stuck up etc. and on top of that im sure theyre are a lot more that think the same. its better though your not labeled the nice guy you labeled the ****y d1ckhead. rather that than nice. I personally think im better than a lot of people. i try to hang out with people that are more to "my" level whatever that is. obviously your hanging with people that have no clue and that are pvssies. the f*gs that say sh!t are the ones that wish they could have that confiedence and feel subordinate and try to bring u down to their level.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Demon

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gunit630 said:
Very good point dude. Find people that try to be better. Not people that want you to be the same as everyone else
I wish I would have realized that years ago... I wouldn't have wasted so many years with fairweather-friends-in-disguise.
 

VSTbeserk

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this is why i'm still holding back on my change i'm doing everything slowly i've now grown my hair out and comb it back and gel it looks f'n good but if one of my friends from high school saw me I can almost say they would give me a hard time....not all of them but a few of them....
 

Kings_royalty

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gunit630 said:
I dress to impress the *****es and some people think that I think Im better then everyone. Do any of yall get this and how do you handle it?
If people think that about you, it's probably got more to do with your attitude than your clothes. If this is the case, you need to chill out bro; there is nothing attractive about being full of yourself.

The type of clothes you wear shouldn't have any type of bearing on your personality. Sure, some clothes will make you feel a little bit more confident about yourself, but don't start acting like your $hit doesn't stink just because you look good; that's ridiculous.
 

Kings_royalty

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its better though your not labeled the nice guy you labeled the ****y d1ckhead. rather that than nice.

You don't want to be labeled the nice guy or the ****y d*ckhead, you will loose in both cases. If you want to play the ****y d*ckhead role, do it in a playful manner (I do it all the time and it works great), but don't go around acting like an a$$hole thinking that it is going to attract girls and move you up in social circles, it doesn't work that way.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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