You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Hey great point. This has happened to me a lot recently...I didn't think of it in this way. I'm going to remember this as I try to be more friendly/social.AlekNovi said:I was at that point 2-3 years ago.
Are you somewhat socially anxious, and care what people think when in social situations?
If so, it happens that people tend to very wrongly misinterpret being introverted for being arrogant (being above them).
If you're socially unskilled AND badly dressed they term you a creep, loser or nerd. If you are dressed good (because creeps, nerds and losers can't be dressed well), then they assume you must be arrogant then, because that's the only reason you wouldn't talk to them and be the life of the party.
Your attire plays a part in defining what people think of you. The people with whom you socialize play a part in defining what you think about yourself. Elevate your company! Don't change your dress.gunit630 said:I dress to impress the *****es and some people think that I think Im better then everyone. Do any of yall get this and how do you handle it?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Very good point dude. Find people that try to be better. Not people that want you to be the same as everyone elseedmond said:If you are better than the rest, then well done:rockon: . Most of the people I see, men AND women look like sacks of sh*t. Why should you lower your high standards?
If you are an Alpha, why should you care what the rabble think?
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
I wish I would have realized that years ago... I wouldn't have wasted so many years with fairweather-friends-in-disguise.gunit630 said:Very good point dude. Find people that try to be better. Not people that want you to be the same as everyone else
If people think that about you, it's probably got more to do with your attitude than your clothes. If this is the case, you need to chill out bro; there is nothing attractive about being full of yourself.gunit630 said:I dress to impress the *****es and some people think that I think Im better then everyone. Do any of yall get this and how do you handle it?
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.