"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Why do people think Im trying to be better then everyone?
- Thread starter gunit630
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
tr0ublemaker
Don Juan
im pretty much a dirty boy (not hygiene) in clean clothes
Delta
Master Don Juan
if the vibe of the gathering is casual and you are dressed to the 9s, that is actually a social faux pas... on par with being UNDERDRESSED (although when in doubt, it is better to be slightly overdressed, it IS offensive if you are WILDLY OVERDRESSED for the occasion).
this is actually a turn off for women too... more than anything, they seem to want a guy that is APPROPRIATE rather than spiffy.
delta
AlekNovi
Don Juan
Are you somewhat socially anxious, and care what people think when in social situations?
Is this coming from BOTH women and men (who could care less about fashion?)
If so, it happens that people tend to very wrongly misinterpret being introverted for being arrogant (being above them).
When I first started dating and getting more social, girls who knew me from before all told me the same thing (you were so arrogant, and thought you were above everyone else)... How did they conclude that? Because I was well-dressed, yet didn't go and start conversations, and didn't smile all the time (are you mostly expressionless?).
When you aren't very social and talkative, when you are somewhat shy and introverted, people tend to project the worst on you (since you're like a blank emotionless canvas).
If you're socially unskilled AND badly dressed they term you a creep, loser or nerd. If you are dressed good (because creeps, nerds and losers can't be dressed well), then they assume you must be arrogant then, because that's the only reason you wouldn't talk to them and be the life of the party.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
~attrACTION~
Banned
Hey great point. This has happened to me a lot recently...I didn't think of it in this way. I'm going to remember this as I try to be more friendly/social.AlekNovi said:
dap
Senior Don Juan
the solution is to just be more friendly and social?
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
edmond
Senior Don Juan
If you are better than the rest, then well done:rockon: . Most of the people I see, men AND women look like sacks of sh*t. Why should you lower your high standards?
If you are an Alpha, why should you care what the rabble think?
edmond
Senior Don Juan
I forgot, try and read fashion or sport books and guide so you find out what makes you look EVEN better, e.g.: types of shirts, colour coordination, posture...
Then no one will criticize you anymore, because you will have left all these little people behind.
Yes, it’s lonely at the top
.
Nexxus
Senior Don Juan
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Kings_royalty
Senior Don Juan
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If people think that about you, it's probably got more to do with your attitude than your clothes. If this is the case, you need to chill out bro; there is nothing attractive about being full of yourself.gunit630 said:
The type of clothes you wear shouldn't have any type of bearing on your personality. Sure, some clothes will make you feel a little bit more confident about yourself, but don't start acting like your $hit doesn't stink just because you look good; that's ridiculous.
Kings_royalty
Senior Don Juan
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You don't want to be labeled the nice guy or the ****y d*ckhead, you will loose in both cases. If you want to play the ****y d*ckhead role, do it in a playful manner (I do it all the time and it works great), but don't go around acting like an a$$hole thinking that it is going to attract girls and move you up in social circles, it doesn't work that way.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.