I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Hey great point. This has happened to me a lot recently...I didn't think of it in this way. I'm going to remember this as I try to be more friendly/social.AlekNovi said:I was at that point 2-3 years ago.
Are you somewhat socially anxious, and care what people think when in social situations?
If so, it happens that people tend to very wrongly misinterpret being introverted for being arrogant (being above them).
If you're socially unskilled AND badly dressed they term you a creep, loser or nerd. If you are dressed good (because creeps, nerds and losers can't be dressed well), then they assume you must be arrogant then, because that's the only reason you wouldn't talk to them and be the life of the party.
Your attire plays a part in defining what people think of you. The people with whom you socialize play a part in defining what you think about yourself. Elevate your company! Don't change your dress.gunit630 said:I dress to impress the *****es and some people think that I think Im better then everyone. Do any of yall get this and how do you handle it?
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Very good point dude. Find people that try to be better. Not people that want you to be the same as everyone elseedmond said:If you are better than the rest, then well done:rockon: . Most of the people I see, men AND women look like sacks of sh*t. Why should you lower your high standards?
If you are an Alpha, why should you care what the rabble think?
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I wish I would have realized that years ago... I wouldn't have wasted so many years with fairweather-friends-in-disguise.gunit630 said:Very good point dude. Find people that try to be better. Not people that want you to be the same as everyone else
If people think that about you, it's probably got more to do with your attitude than your clothes. If this is the case, you need to chill out bro; there is nothing attractive about being full of yourself.gunit630 said:I dress to impress the *****es and some people think that I think Im better then everyone. Do any of yall get this and how do you handle it?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.