"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Who's the guy who advocates silence and distance? Used it well recently

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Bwub60

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ohrein said:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.



The standard protocol I operate under is to be polite and kind if ever in doubt. Even if you run into an ex who was horrible to you, cheated on you, even if she's rude. It's better for you to go through life accepting people as flawed and treating everyone with kindness, even if they don't deserve it.

So that said, while I don't know why you'd want to avoid her, I just wouldn't worry about it. Use those awkward interactions to build your own confidence because ultimately talking to her, not talking to her, seeing her, not seeing really makes no difference. Be water, be kind. You should only assert yourself when absolutely necessary.
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tell me more about CBT?

What I am asking is do I look like a stalker? She didnt wrong me in any way but Im trying to go no contact since she just dumped me. She wasnt close but I pulled up recognized her car and said **** and then I saw her and her kids a ways off.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ohrein

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Bwub60 said:
tell me more about CBT?

What I am asking is do I look like a stalker? She didnt wrong me in any way but Im trying to go no contact since she just dumped me. She wasnt close but I pulled up recognized her car and said **** and then I saw her and her kids a ways off.
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https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cognitive-behaviour-therapy

It doesn't matter if you look like a stalker. Are you a stalker? You need to work on not giving a fvck what people think of you. That's actually why I think being a kind and polite person is so important. If you know you try your best to be a good person, if someone thinks otherwise it's like water off a ducks back. Why should I give their opinion any weight? Now if my best friend tells me I'm doing something wrong, I listen, because his opinion is valid. Some chick that dumped me? Who's that again?
 
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