Who's the guy who advocates silence and distance? Used it well recently

[ohrein]

Girlfriend had a little tantrum about nothing in particularly recently. I just calmly responded with indifference and left it at radio silence. Figured she'd last past the weekend before wondering what was up but she came back even sooner. She took long enough for me to book my first weekend off work to go on a trip out of town with an old buddy of mine though. Gonna be a great weekend! Wonder if she'll be a little more intense in the bedroom before I head out of town. Will update.

Anyway, silence and distance is pure gold to pass sh1t tests easily. I do believe in putting a foot down when it counts, but I think this is a more powerful approach because you maintain your cool indifference.

Cheers to whoever it was who posted about it. Could do with a recap here since I can't remember the details.

 

[fanatic22]

Thats the @Glassguy special

 

[EyeBRollin]

Interest level rises with space. This is game 101.

 

[logicallefty]

It's powerful sh|t isn't it? In the interest of honesty I've had it work on me too. When a chick silence and distanced me it made me think about her all the more. Up until the time upon which I got with another chick. Multiple options is also Game 101.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

It's powerful sh|t isn't it? In the interest of honesty I've had it work on me too. When a chick silence and distanced me it made me think about her all the more. Up until the time upon which I got with another chick. Multiple options is also Game 101.

When you got the other girl majically her interest level changed. It's like it was voodoo, right ?

 

[logicallefty]

When you got the other girl majically her interest level changed. It's like it was voodoo, right ?

Yes Sir!

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes Sir!

Yep . And you wonder how the fvck . Why the fvck didn't I do this sooner ?


The attraction happens instantly .

 

[wifehunter]

Girlfriend had a little tantrum about nothing in particularly recently. I just calmly responded with indifference and left it at radio silence. Figured she'd last past the weekend before wondering what was up but she came back even sooner. She took long enough for me to book my first weekend off work to go on a trip out of town with an old buddy of mine though. Gonna be a great weekend! Wonder if she'll be a little more intense in the bedroom before I head out of town. Will update.

Anyway, silence and distance is pure gold to pass sh1t tests easily. I do believe in putting a foot down when it counts, but I think this is a more powerful approach because you maintain your cool indifference.

Cheers to whoever it was who posted about it. Could do with a recap here since I can't remember the details.

If someone backs me into a corner...yeah, the foot goes down.

Otherwise is space, distance and time. And, loads of it!

If I had the choice of one superpower, it would be invisibility.

 

[Bwub60]

Let me ask you this. When yall do this do you not return calls and msgs?

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Interest level rises with space. This is game 101.

+1

You freeze women out for ****ty behavior,low sex drive, and for female logic.

If she gets out of line, send her to her room like a child.

#nextset

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

Let me ask you this. When yall do this do you not return calls and msgs?

You don't reciprocate to female logic ever.

If a woman's not in the mood, 'going out with the boys. Don't wait up', or better yet, say nothing. Just leave

 

[mrgoodstuff]

When you got the other girl majically her interest level changed. It's like it was voodoo, right ?

Some thing happened to me. I got around my lady who was holding out for me for 9 months, and it was the same night after my girlfriend gave me some that she wanted to fvck me really badly.

It really freaked me out, like I felt she knew, or somehow like a phone call was made or whatever. But I know that pounding the female who wanted me in her, put me back into my sexual and masculine frame and she could see it.

 

[ohrein]

Let me ask you this. When yall do this do you not return calls and msgs?

You return calls and messages, but just to see if she's going to play the game. If she wants to keep doing her thing then let her. No time for drama.

 

[Bwub60]

You return calls and messages, but just to see if she's going to play the game. If she wants to keep doing her thing then let her. No time for drama.

Thanks for the help. I am new to trying to do things the right way and so alot of this feels foreign to me. Plus I just got dumped by one of the girls I was seeing for pushing to much. I did things right early on but when she pulled back I pursued to much. I gave some distance for a couple of days and got a good response but when she canceled plans Saturday I didnt handle it well after I got drunk. Lesson learned.

 

[ohrein]

Thanks for the help. I am new to trying to do things the right way and so alot of this feels foreign to me. Plus I just got dumped by one of the girls I was seeing for pushing to much. I did things right early on but when she pulled back I pursued to much. I gave some distance for a couple of days and got a good response but when she canceled plans Saturday I didnt handle it well after I got drunk. Lesson learned.

It can be hard to know what the right thing to do is. I'm struggling a little with a weird situation with my girlfriend at the moment. There is a simple explanation but my brain is conjuring up a whole load of possibilities. End of the day, it doesn't really matter. You can only do your thing and hope that women join you. It's tempting to go beta and try and "negotiate desire" as Rollo puts it but if she's not putting in the effort to see you then there's not much you can do but mirror her silence and see what happens. If she is trying to see you, you should let her. If she's avoiding seeing you, you should let her. Reply when necessary, live your life outside of that.

If you're losing control when drunk you have a drinking problem. If you're using your drinking to self-medicate your emotions you need to learn how to deal with your feelings at a core level. Drinking that way is how I ended up with major problems in my life. Get into CBT and Buddhism and start being really aware of your habits and thoughts. Alcoholism can be no joke, but it just seems like everything is normal because of the culture surrounding it. One day it's not.

 

[wifehunter]

Alcoholism can be no joke, but it just seems like everything is normal because of the culture surrounding it. One day it's not.

It's the people, with no self-control, who ruin it.

 

[Bwub60]

Get into CBT

What is CBT?

 

[Bwub60]

It can be hard to know what the right thing to do is. I'm struggling a little with a weird situation with my girlfriend at the moment. There is a simple explanation but my brain is conjuring up a whole load of possibilities. End of the day, it doesn't really matter. You can only do your thing and hope that women join you. It's tempting to go beta and try and "negotiate desire" as Rollo puts it but if she's not putting in the effort to see you then there's not much you can do but mirror her silence and see what happens. If she is trying to see you, you should let her. If she's avoiding seeing you, you should let her. Reply when necessary, live your life outside of that.

If you're losing control when drunk you have a drinking problem. If you're using your drinking to self-medicate your emotions you need to learn how to deal with your feelings at a core level. Drinking that way is how I ended up with major problems in my life. Get into CBT and Buddhism and start being really aware of your habits and thoughts. Alcoholism can be no joke, but it just seems like everything is normal because of the culture surrounding it. One day it's not.

Let me ask you this. It is a bit off topic but I live in the same smallish town with this girl. I usually go to the park and walk in the afternoons. She does every now and then but I am pretty sure we just half ass ran into each other. She was about 100 or so yards away but I walked the other direction. My question is should I just find another place to go to avoid running into her or what? I got in my own head a bit and felt a bit stupid once I saw her but didnt want to get back in my truck and leave.

 

[ohrein]

What is CBT?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

Let me ask you this. It is a bit off topic but I live in the same smallish town with this girl. I usually go to the park and walk in the afternoons. She does every now and then but I am pretty sure we just half ass ran into each other. She was about 100 or so yards away but I walked the other direction. My question is should I just find another place to go to avoid running into her or what? I got in my own head a bit and felt a bit stupid once I saw her but didnt want to get back in my truck and leave.

The standard protocol I operate under is to be polite and kind if ever in doubt. Even if you run into an ex who was horrible to you, cheated on you, even if she's rude. It's better for you to go through life accepting people as flawed and treating everyone with kindness, even if they don't deserve it.

So that said, while I don't know why you'd want to avoid her, I just wouldn't worry about it. Use those awkward interactions to build your own confidence because ultimately talking to her, not talking to her, seeing her, not seeing really makes no difference. Be water, be kind. You should only assert yourself when absolutely necessary.

 

[ohrein]

It's the people, with no self-control, who ruin it.

It's true, and I was one of those people. But my qualm isn't that it's normalized. I drink responsibly and enjoyably now. I never drink to the point where I am lacking clarity to make correct decisions. There's nothing wrong with drinking. The problem is, as an alcoholic, it's very easy to see drinking and drinking culture as safe and normal, effectively ignoring that it can be a problem. I'm all about people having a good look at their drinking habits and objectively figuring out if they are drinking to be fun and sociable and relax a little, or drinking to self medicate. If you're going beyond those few drinks to chill and drinking with a purpose, you need to re-evaluate.