"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Who's the guy who advocates silence and distance? Used it well recently

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Bwub60

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ohrein said:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.



The standard protocol I operate under is to be polite and kind if ever in doubt. Even if you run into an ex who was horrible to you, cheated on you, even if she's rude. It's better for you to go through life accepting people as flawed and treating everyone with kindness, even if they don't deserve it.

So that said, while I don't know why you'd want to avoid her, I just wouldn't worry about it. Use those awkward interactions to build your own confidence because ultimately talking to her, not talking to her, seeing her, not seeing really makes no difference. Be water, be kind. You should only assert yourself when absolutely necessary.
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tell me more about CBT?

What I am asking is do I look like a stalker? She didnt wrong me in any way but Im trying to go no contact since she just dumped me. She wasnt close but I pulled up recognized her car and said **** and then I saw her and her kids a ways off.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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ohrein

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Bwub60 said:
tell me more about CBT?

What I am asking is do I look like a stalker? She didnt wrong me in any way but Im trying to go no contact since she just dumped me. She wasnt close but I pulled up recognized her car and said **** and then I saw her and her kids a ways off.
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https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cognitive-behaviour-therapy

It doesn't matter if you look like a stalker. Are you a stalker? You need to work on not giving a fvck what people think of you. That's actually why I think being a kind and polite person is so important. If you know you try your best to be a good person, if someone thinks otherwise it's like water off a ducks back. Why should I give their opinion any weight? Now if my best friend tells me I'm doing something wrong, I listen, because his opinion is valid. Some chick that dumped me? Who's that again?
 
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