"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Who's the guy who advocates silence and distance? Used it well recently

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Bwub60

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ohrein said:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.



The standard protocol I operate under is to be polite and kind if ever in doubt. Even if you run into an ex who was horrible to you, cheated on you, even if she's rude. It's better for you to go through life accepting people as flawed and treating everyone with kindness, even if they don't deserve it.

So that said, while I don't know why you'd want to avoid her, I just wouldn't worry about it. Use those awkward interactions to build your own confidence because ultimately talking to her, not talking to her, seeing her, not seeing really makes no difference. Be water, be kind. You should only assert yourself when absolutely necessary.
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tell me more about CBT?

What I am asking is do I look like a stalker? She didnt wrong me in any way but Im trying to go no contact since she just dumped me. She wasnt close but I pulled up recognized her car and said **** and then I saw her and her kids a ways off.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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ohrein

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Bwub60 said:
tell me more about CBT?

What I am asking is do I look like a stalker? She didnt wrong me in any way but Im trying to go no contact since she just dumped me. She wasnt close but I pulled up recognized her car and said **** and then I saw her and her kids a ways off.
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https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cognitive-behaviour-therapy

It doesn't matter if you look like a stalker. Are you a stalker? You need to work on not giving a fvck what people think of you. That's actually why I think being a kind and polite person is so important. If you know you try your best to be a good person, if someone thinks otherwise it's like water off a ducks back. Why should I give their opinion any weight? Now if my best friend tells me I'm doing something wrong, I listen, because his opinion is valid. Some chick that dumped me? Who's that again?
 
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