Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Who's the guy who advocates silence and distance? Used it well recently

Bwub60

Don Juan
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.



The standard protocol I operate under is to be polite and kind if ever in doubt. Even if you run into an ex who was horrible to you, cheated on you, even if she's rude. It's better for you to go through life accepting people as flawed and treating everyone with kindness, even if they don't deserve it.

So that said, while I don't know why you'd want to avoid her, I just wouldn't worry about it. Use those awkward interactions to build your own confidence because ultimately talking to her, not talking to her, seeing her, not seeing really makes no difference. Be water, be kind. You should only assert yourself when absolutely necessary.
tell me more about CBT?

What I am asking is do I look like a stalker? She didnt wrong me in any way but Im trying to go no contact since she just dumped me. She wasnt close but I pulled up recognized her car and said **** and then I saw her and her kids a ways off.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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ohrein

Master Don Juan
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tell me more about CBT?

What I am asking is do I look like a stalker? She didnt wrong me in any way but Im trying to go no contact since she just dumped me. She wasnt close but I pulled up recognized her car and said **** and then I saw her and her kids a ways off.
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/cognitive-behaviour-therapy

It doesn't matter if you look like a stalker. Are you a stalker? You need to work on not giving a fvck what people think of you. That's actually why I think being a kind and polite person is so important. If you know you try your best to be a good person, if someone thinks otherwise it's like water off a ducks back. Why should I give their opinion any weight? Now if my best friend tells me I'm doing something wrong, I listen, because his opinion is valid. Some chick that dumped me? Who's that again?
 
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