flowtheory
Master Don Juan
Had sex with a woman I like last night for the first time. Do you guys usually wait for her to reach out, or do you reach out?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Who contacts who after sex first time?
- Thread starter flowtheory
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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Almost not worth worrying about because if she is really into you she will have messaged you before you got home.
R.U.G.
Master Don Juan
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Can go either way. Some women are old school and like OC16 said can ring true. However, what Marmel75 also rings true too. If she's that interested in you, she'd reach out to you and said she had a great time. Or, you can wait a day or two, reach out and said hey, I had a great time seeing you on Saturday, I'd love to see you again. When are you free?
BeExcellent
Master Don Juan
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"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
sazc
Master Don Juan
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I stand corrected. If this was the chick from last night, wait a few days. She's already in your frame. The likelihood is higher that she will subrogate, than go NC b/c you didn't reach out first.
That said, there's always a chance she will decide ur not with her time b/c you are fvking other chicks, but, considering get response to the convo last night, it's better to give her time and let her chase.
That said, there's always a chance she will decide ur not with her time b/c you are fvking other chicks, but, considering get response to the convo last night, it's better to give her time and let her chase.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
I called her. It turned out to be the right play in this scenario.
Serenity
Moderator
Yes.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
In my opinion, Im not trying to say you didnt nail her right but the Women are the ones who always reached out first.
In2theGame
Master Don Juan
She also needs time to talk about your sex game to her girlfriends but you already called so too late.
Always she, that ensures you hold on to the masculine power/frame.
If it's you 1st then you're entering her frame where you play by her rules. And that's not natural.
flowtheory
Master Don Juan
Mm she has also never been one reaching out after dates. She le me pursue her. Always receptive. When I called she was pretty gung-ho to pick me down.
Maybe it doesn’t make one bit of difference. Because if both people are turning their keys for more, and it’s evident high interest is on both peoples minds.. it’s all good. Sometimes we overthink frame and scrutinize a bit much here
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Who Dares Win
Master Don Juan
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Drop her a call, she wont feel pumped and dumped and there will be the chance to see her again.
Call her even if you dont wanna see her again, I forgot to call one few years ago and she basically started telling her (our) friends that i sucked and my di1ck was small....I basically had to show it to them to make that stop.
It was years ago, I wouldnt do any of that in the currect cultural setting.
Call her even if you dont wanna see her again, I forgot to call one few years ago and she basically started telling her (our) friends that i sucked and my di1ck was small....I basically had to show it to them to make that stop.
It was years ago, I wouldnt do any of that in the currect cultural setting.