She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Marvin Gaye said:My input is that this forum is very ecletic, very diverse amount of members here which makes for an awesome place and busy forum!
Of course since it's so busy you get a lot of spammers, trolls, conspirAcy dudes, negative haters like the guy above me.
Whichever posters' advice you like best. Definitely trust your gut, and if some dude is spouting shyyet call him out on it!
That said, off the top of my head there are some posters who always make kickass posts. If you get the chance look these guys up:
Jophil
Backbreaker
Poonani maker
Bigneil
Squirrels
Vice
Atom smasher
Rollo tomassi
Just off the top of my head.
And one thing to keep an eye out for is woman hating here, most o the time its funny and all in good taste, but sometimes you just sense the bitterness in the posts here and you need to watch out for that!!
Welcome!!
Gspshields3 on the other hang is a comediangpshields3 said:Bigneil? He's a f**king lunatic. You're better off taking advice from the bum on the corner.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Yup. Seconded. Bigneil? Not familiar with his contributions.Marvin Gaye said:That said, off the top of my head there are some posters who always make kickass posts. If you get the chance look these guys up:
Jophil
Backbreaker
Poonani maker
Bigneil
Squirrels
Vice
Atom smasher
Rollo tomassi
Just off the top of my head.
I agree, but I think some posters know what they are doing over others. I would have to throw out:secretasianman said:this is a bad question to ask, its like asking for the answers to life. you need to just use your own intuition and try whatever you think works.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.