Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
What about the 'So why did you add me?' question?Jariel said:I usually check their profile to see if they're single. Sometimes I'll just add them with no introduction. If they add me, over the next week I might like a photo or two of theirs, comment on a few status updates or alike and see how they respond. If they like my pics or seem receptive to my comments, I'll drop them a mail, along the lines of:
"Hey there. We've not had chance to speak yet so I thought I'd drop you a mail to say hi.
So how are you and how's your weekend been?"
We swap a few mails of basic chit chat, getting to know a bit about each other etc, swap numbers and escalate from there.
A lot of the time, I'll get a response or two to my mail, but then won't hear anything again. Other times they seem really keen to get to know me. Sometimes they're even quite obsessive and seem to think I'm this perfect guy.
I've tried being ****y and funny or forward, but it rarely works. I find taking it slowly and building rapport works much better for me. A lot of guys comment on their pics with "you're fit" and "I would bang u" etc so I set myself apart this way. I think it's also important they feel comfortable with you.
I confess, I do a lot of cutting and pasting of emails to save time.![]()
mikeyb said:Don't have 5 yet but here's my 3:
3. Online dating (match.com)
2. Taking same class (met through a friend)
1. Workshop (cold approach after workshop ended)
Agree with Jariel, bars & clubs don't do it for me either. If you're persistent and have a little game, online is a sure thing but you have to be willing to put up with scores of low quality women, flakes, and AWs.
I rarely get asked to be honest, though if someone does ask I just tell them it was a "random add" or something like "I was checking your profile and thought I'd like to get to know you". Nothing witty or clever, just to the point.Ease said:What about the 'So why did you add me?' question?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
That's cool. I was convinced it was impossible to get anywhere from random adds but you have opened my eyes. A true facebook pioneer. Props to you.Jariel said:I rarely get asked to be honest, though if someone does ask I just tell them it was a "random add" or something like "I was checking your profile and thought I'd like to get to know you". Nothing witty or clever, just to the point.
I have also used the "I'm sure I know you from somewhere" excuse and I've had random girls use the same line when adding me.
Great line! Mind if I borrow it?DJ Logic said:4. Wine-tasting (should i have been surprised that she didn't swallow?)
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Well I sure get my share of rejections, but it's quite easy to play the numbers game on Facebook.Ease said:That's cool. I was convinced it was impossible to get anywhere from random adds but you have opened my eyes. A true facebook pioneer. Props to you.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Whoa, seriously? Mind giving some details?Starbucks
Starbucks
Starbucks
Starbucks
Hmm, I'll guess the real ones: 2,4,7,9,10?mustfirstregister said:1. Sauna
2. Traveled to country
3. Park
4. Landlady
5. Skating
6. Salon
7. Cousin's wife sister
8. Neighbor
9. Hooker
10. Insurance broker
5 are real and 5 are fake. Can you guess?
Whaaat? What kind of dance classes are these?!loveshogun said:Most recent to least recent
1) Dance class
2) Dance class
3) Dance class
4) Bar
5) Dance class
You'll notice a pattern here, with me.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.