You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
What about the 'So why did you add me?' question?Jariel said:I usually check their profile to see if they're single. Sometimes I'll just add them with no introduction. If they add me, over the next week I might like a photo or two of theirs, comment on a few status updates or alike and see how they respond. If they like my pics or seem receptive to my comments, I'll drop them a mail, along the lines of:
"Hey there. We've not had chance to speak yet so I thought I'd drop you a mail to say hi.
So how are you and how's your weekend been?"
We swap a few mails of basic chit chat, getting to know a bit about each other etc, swap numbers and escalate from there.
A lot of the time, I'll get a response or two to my mail, but then won't hear anything again. Other times they seem really keen to get to know me. Sometimes they're even quite obsessive and seem to think I'm this perfect guy.
I've tried being ****y and funny or forward, but it rarely works. I find taking it slowly and building rapport works much better for me. A lot of guys comment on their pics with "you're fit" and "I would bang u" etc so I set myself apart this way. I think it's also important they feel comfortable with you.
I confess, I do a lot of cutting and pasting of emails to save time.![]()
mikeyb said:Don't have 5 yet but here's my 3:
3. Online dating (match.com)
2. Taking same class (met through a friend)
1. Workshop (cold approach after workshop ended)
Agree with Jariel, bars & clubs don't do it for me either. If you're persistent and have a little game, online is a sure thing but you have to be willing to put up with scores of low quality women, flakes, and AWs.
I rarely get asked to be honest, though if someone does ask I just tell them it was a "random add" or something like "I was checking your profile and thought I'd like to get to know you". Nothing witty or clever, just to the point.Ease said:What about the 'So why did you add me?' question?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
That's cool. I was convinced it was impossible to get anywhere from random adds but you have opened my eyes. A true facebook pioneer. Props to you.Jariel said:I rarely get asked to be honest, though if someone does ask I just tell them it was a "random add" or something like "I was checking your profile and thought I'd like to get to know you". Nothing witty or clever, just to the point.
I have also used the "I'm sure I know you from somewhere" excuse and I've had random girls use the same line when adding me.
Great line! Mind if I borrow it?DJ Logic said:4. Wine-tasting (should i have been surprised that she didn't swallow?)
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Well I sure get my share of rejections, but it's quite easy to play the numbers game on Facebook.Ease said:That's cool. I was convinced it was impossible to get anywhere from random adds but you have opened my eyes. A true facebook pioneer. Props to you.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Whoa, seriously? Mind giving some details?Starbucks
Starbucks
Starbucks
Starbucks
Hmm, I'll guess the real ones: 2,4,7,9,10?mustfirstregister said:1. Sauna
2. Traveled to country
3. Park
4. Landlady
5. Skating
6. Salon
7. Cousin's wife sister
8. Neighbor
9. Hooker
10. Insurance broker
5 are real and 5 are fake. Can you guess?
Whaaat? What kind of dance classes are these?!loveshogun said:Most recent to least recent
1) Dance class
2) Dance class
3) Dance class
4) Bar
5) Dance class
You'll notice a pattern here, with me.
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.