wait_out
Master Don Juan
1) Sitting watching youtube movies on couch with 20 year old who told me she didn't know who Nirvana was and didn't know the riff from Come As You Are.
*Ouch*
*Ouch*
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I just realized how f'ing old I really am - I do remember the name Nirvana. Some kind of wacky Buddhist concept right ? OR maybe it was the name of the first caffeine drink in a can, or.....just can't remember.wait_out said:It wasn't feeling old as so much that I loved the indie spirit of those times, despite the fact that Nirvana 'sold out' they had pretty spotless underground credentials and always pushed lesser known artists. So yeah that is a long way away these days.
I guess Lady Gaga is more the spirit of our times... I wonder what that means, culturally
Welcome to the pervert club, Zekko....zekko said:Here's my dilemna with age recently. I will meet other women my age, and I don't really think much about them. But then I meet their daughters and I am very physically attracted to them. That has to say something, I'm not sure what. By the way, these daughters are around 30, I'm not talking about underage girls like thedude4242 there.
I certainly wouldn't recommend having sex with a 14 or 16 year old. But to some extent the fact that they are taboo is simply a result of our culture. In other cultures it would be perfectly okay. So I'm not entirely sure how they decide which age is wrong and which isn't. Besides which, I'm sure not all 16 year olds are at the same maturity level.thedude4242 said:here is the thing. if I say a 14-16 old year is cute or hot I am a pervert. but all the time I hear women well over the age of 18 all the time talk about guys as young as 14, calling them cute and hot. as a white straight male I have no rights anymore.
I'm not fond of the term "feminine shaming", but if I can't appreciate the beauty of a 30 year old woman without being called a pervert, I think that's what's at work here. Too bad I can't appreciate their mothers the same way. I'd like to, it's just not there. Maybe when I'm 70.jophil28 said:Welcome to the pervert club, Zekko....
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.