wait_out
Master Don Juan
1) Sitting watching youtube movies on couch with 20 year old who told me she didn't know who Nirvana was and didn't know the riff from Come As You Are.
*Ouch*
*Ouch*
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I just realized how f'ing old I really am - I do remember the name Nirvana. Some kind of wacky Buddhist concept right ? OR maybe it was the name of the first caffeine drink in a can, or.....just can't remember.wait_out said:It wasn't feeling old as so much that I loved the indie spirit of those times, despite the fact that Nirvana 'sold out' they had pretty spotless underground credentials and always pushed lesser known artists. So yeah that is a long way away these days.
I guess Lady Gaga is more the spirit of our times... I wonder what that means, culturally
Welcome to the pervert club, Zekko....zekko said:Here's my dilemna with age recently. I will meet other women my age, and I don't really think much about them. But then I meet their daughters and I am very physically attracted to them. That has to say something, I'm not sure what. By the way, these daughters are around 30, I'm not talking about underage girls like thedude4242 there.
I certainly wouldn't recommend having sex with a 14 or 16 year old. But to some extent the fact that they are taboo is simply a result of our culture. In other cultures it would be perfectly okay. So I'm not entirely sure how they decide which age is wrong and which isn't. Besides which, I'm sure not all 16 year olds are at the same maturity level.thedude4242 said:here is the thing. if I say a 14-16 old year is cute or hot I am a pervert. but all the time I hear women well over the age of 18 all the time talk about guys as young as 14, calling them cute and hot. as a white straight male I have no rights anymore.
I'm not fond of the term "feminine shaming", but if I can't appreciate the beauty of a 30 year old woman without being called a pervert, I think that's what's at work here. Too bad I can't appreciate their mothers the same way. I'd like to, it's just not there. Maybe when I'm 70.jophil28 said:Welcome to the pervert club, Zekko....
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.