P_Dawg_Jalapeno
Don Juan
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i need ideas poepel!
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
what should me and my girlfriend do on our 1 year anniversary of being together?
- Thread starter P_Dawg_Jalapeno
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Bluntmaster
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2010
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- 606
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Give her a picture of her ex's big veiny johnson, since she thinks about it so much.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
Look everybody. It's the troll with the weed-stealing, ex-boyfriend's underwear-wearing, girlfriend who still talks about her ex's penis.
Trolling internet message boards was fun when I was 12. If you happen to be older than 12, then perhaps it's time to take up a less geeky hobby. Like World of Warcraft or knitting.
Trolling internet message boards was fun when I was 12. If you happen to be older than 12, then perhaps it's time to take up a less geeky hobby. Like World of Warcraft or knitting.
P_Dawg_Jalapeno
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 10, 2010
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why am i a troll i dont understand? i dont live under a bridge or eat babys
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
P_Dawg_Jalapeno
Don Juan
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maqnetik said:
I make $43,000 a year. So what would be reasonable?
Paintballguy
Master Don Juan
go out for a nice dinner?
SandHawk
Master Don Juan
Get a prostitute and have a threesome with her. You can't give her a better happy-1st-anniversary gift than that.
P_Dawg_Jalapeno
Don Juan
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- May 10, 2010
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- 45
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Paintballguy said:
we do that all the time
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
I'm more of a fan of sacrificing small children from the local orphanageAlle_Gory said:
- comic_relief
comic_relief
Master Don Juan
When my ex was single, that is what happened to me too.amoka said:
- comic_relief
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
SweetDannyJ
Don Juan
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No way! I was just gonna come in and say the exact same thing verbatim lol! :crackup:PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
Seems to be the standard advice these days on the boards. Hilarious!!!
Bluntmaster
Banned
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She stole weed from him, and she told him she dreams about her ex's johnson.
We told him to dump her, and he is so p/ssy whipped he has ignored the warning. This guy will learn the hard way, IF she isn't already cheating on him.
And he wants to buy her a gift? Buy her NOTHING. That is the best advice.
What did she buy the OP? I have a guess... NOTHING.
We told him to dump her, and he is so p/ssy whipped he has ignored the warning. This guy will learn the hard way, IF she isn't already cheating on him.
And he wants to buy her a gift? Buy her NOTHING. That is the best advice.
What did she buy the OP? I have a guess... NOTHING.