"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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what should me and my girlfriend do on our 1 year anniversary of being together?

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Bluntmaster

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Give her a picture of her ex's big veiny johnson, since she thinks about it so much.
 

Iceberg

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Look everybody. It's the troll with the weed-stealing, ex-boyfriend's underwear-wearing, girlfriend who still talks about her ex's penis.

Trolling internet message boards was fun when I was 12. If you happen to be older than 12, then perhaps it's time to take up a less geeky hobby. Like World of Warcraft or knitting.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Alien

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What do you want to do? If you dont want to do anything ....because you dont give a sh!t about anniversarys ...then do nothing. ...you dont have to please her.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Alle_Gory

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Some kind of ritual sacrifice to prove your devotion. Does she like lambs?
 

comic_relief

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Alle_Gory said:
Some kind of ritual sacrifice to prove your devotion. Does she like lambs?
I'm more of a fan of sacrificing small children from the local orphanage

- comic_relief
 

amoka

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I got the best BJ from my ex on our so called anniversary. Maybe you should get that too...
 

comic_relief

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amoka said:
I got the best BJ from my ex on our so called anniversary. Maybe you should get that too...
When my ex was single, that is what happened to me too.

- comic_relief
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Chromeo

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dude you should propose! youve been together one year and you havent proposed yet!? what are you thinking. SHE IS WAITING!

oh btw your supposed to spend like 3 months pay on a ring.
 

SweetDannyJ

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PairPlusRoyalFlush said:
spin more plates!
No way! I was just gonna come in and say the exact same thing verbatim lol! :crackup:

Seems to be the standard advice these days on the boards. Hilarious!!!
 

Bluntmaster

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She stole weed from him, and she told him she dreams about her ex's johnson.

We told him to dump her, and he is so p/ssy whipped he has ignored the warning. This guy will learn the hard way, IF she isn't already cheating on him.

And he wants to buy her a gift? Buy her NOTHING. That is the best advice.

What did she buy the OP? I have a guess... NOTHING.
 

f283000

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Chromeo said:
dude you should propose! youve been together one year and you havent proposed yet!? what are you thinking. SHE IS WAITING!

oh btw your supposed to spend like 3 months pay on a ring.
What next? You going to tell him to jump of a bridge?? :cuss:

He came here for good advice not to have his life ruined!
 
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