What methods of contact can you get?

[nicksaiz65]

Show them ur talents a few times, thereby increasing ur sphere of influence and as it grows so will ur presence.

Once that's established, they will want to introduce you to their other friends which in turn increases their own influence.

Do you see where I'm going with this young man?

I do. I've actually been doing this a bit with some friends last semester and that's how I made a new friend group this Summer.

I especially like this because it's more motivation to practice/write music. Which is a huge part of my purpose anyways, so it's a win win.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Work on being gregarious in general and it will overflow to those nearby. If you're laughing, having a good time, outgoing, etc., what's the harm in turning to the chick behind you and asking her opinion on something? Or commenting on something - her shirt, her food, her beer, whatever. If you're walking toward the bar and someone is in your sight line or waiting with you for a drink, chat her/him up. There's no need to exclude talking to men. They can be helpful, or good pivots to talking to the women they're with. It's also good practice.

I'll be honest, this is something I've been trying to strengthen. I've fluctuated in the past on being outgoing and not so much. Some people are just naturally talking to EVERYONE. I'm not saying you should be an obnoxious chatterbox (like John Candy in Planes Trains & Automobiles). Just try to have a vision of the entire venue instead of just the people you're with as your realm. And of course do an approach if you see a target.

Besides that, what's holding you - any of us - back is the fear in our head of being ridiculed or ostracized. Recognize that as a part of your evolutionary programming, but dismiss it as an unfounded warning from your subconscious. Your mind and body will do their best to keep you "stable" and so when you rock the boat they send signals. But if rocking the boat eventually becomes the new normal for you, your organism will adjust and you won't feel so nervous.

And on the spot when in doubt, just remember the 3 second rule. Better to say anything within that window than to delay or plan.

I love the 3 Second Rule. I'll do some approaches at work today and I'll be sure to use it. This answers my question, I'll be back in here after I do hella approaches. I need to get laid again so I'll do as many approaches as it takes lol.

I think The Great Pook had a quote about this that I'll take to heart

 

[nicksaiz65]

It's not an outright faux pas in my opinion, but it's not the direction I'd want to go. Asking just reminds her and can short-circuit the conversation. You can take the conversation wherever you want to, so why bring up potential competition (or give her an idea for an excuse early on)? With day game, or any game really, remember that you want to qualify her. She "seems" cool, but you'd like to get to know her better, etc. You're getting to know her and seeing if she's a psycho or not, lol. So whether she has a boyfriend is immaterial to you since you don't even know if you'd let her into your apartment, or let her sleep with you. All the while you are building rapport and comfort.

And girls are gonna do what they're gonna do. She may lie and say she has one to let you off easy. She may say she has one but not turn you down for a meet. She may not mention she has one at all even if she does. It's her life. But when you bring it up, you make it the fulcrum for the whole interaction, if that makes sense.

I was doing some experimentation the other day. Chick who seemed receptive to me. I asked "So is that a a wedding band or just a ring?" She replied "Yes I'm married, but it's really not working out at all." I take that as "I'm about to monkey branch, shoot your shot." Had I not asked, I never would've gotten this information. But on the other hand, I don't like how vulnerable this move makes you. It's like if you're playing poker and you just show your opponent your cards. So I'm pretty torn on this.

 

[nicksaiz65]

It almost sounds like you're in the middle of this interaction and stepped aside to post this, lol.

Anyway...she's obviously giving you a major green light to escalate. That might be an understatement.

Why do you suppose it makes you feel vulnerable? If someone shows you their cards, it means they want you to have what's in the pot. Obviously lesser skilled men might either shrink from the moment or way overplay it.

Perhaps her boldness took you aback and you weren't sure how to continue. How did you respond?

(If you're torn because she's married, that's legit and a separate concern.)

Lol this was actually last weekend. I've been meaning to update but I've been very busy so I'm just now getting around to it.

I just kinda don't like how it kills the mystery, kinda like how whenever you ask a woman if she has a boyfriend. Y'know?

I escalated the best I could, but unfortunately the logistics weren't there. I got her Snapchat. She texts back very quickly. The only day I have free is Thursday, but she's busy with her daughter then. So I'll text her and ask her out again in 2 weeks!