You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Is that even possible? I guess one is what they do, but it seems like it would be pretty hard to kill natural tendancies. That's worth me googling to see what the so-called experts say about that.Francisco d'Anconia said:Surprising I had been an INTJ for a better part of my life. Over the last 10 years I evolved into a ENTP/J.
Who's to say that I was naturally an INTJ? I will admit that during my youth society had way more influence over my behavior. But still, change is always possible if a person is truly willing and authentically wants to.azanon said:Is that even possible? I guess one is what they do, but it seems like it would be pretty hard to kill natural tendancies. That's worth me googling to see what the so-called experts say about that.
I just had the understanding that once you're an adult, your personality is relative set, and though you can operate out of a comfort-zone, it doesn't change the actual zone (that much).Francisco d'Anconia said:Who's to say that I was naturally an INTJ? I will admit that during my youth society had way more influence over my behavior. But still, change is always possible if a person is truly willing and authentically wants to.
I've been challenging the concept of "inborn preferences." Even though we have certain patterns we follow due to the remaining nural pathways we retain as adult, those basically are our innate talents. As for our actions and what we prefer to do, I don't believe that they're inborn.azanon said:I just had the understanding that once you're an adult, your personality is relative set, and though you can operate out of a comfort-zone, it doesn't change the actual zone (that much).
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(edit) found this at personalitytype.com
"2. Isn't it possible to change our type as a result of experiences or as a result of pressure to be different?
Under most "normal" circumstances, no. While we may change the way we behave and may develop all kinds of adaptive or accommodating skills or habits, we do not change our personality type. Now, under extraordinary circumstances (i.e. serious child abuse, extensive experience in a lifestyle or career that runs counter to your normal operating style), people can and sometimes do become so affected (or damaged) that they no longer recognize their "true" selves. But in most situations, all we are really changing is our behavior - not our inborn preference." "
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
My guess is that the P/J is the easist to change, I used to be very P'ish but now straddle the line between P and J. As I've gotten older, I have less tolerance for flakiness, indecisiveness, clutter, disarray so I'm moving more towards the J side.azanon said:Is that even possible? I guess one is what they do, but it seems like it would be pretty hard to kill natural tendancies. That's worth me googling to see what the so-called experts say about that.
Come on, they can be the most fun.speakeasy said:I don't mind if a girl is E I F J Tor P, but if she is S, then I just don't click with her.
Strangely I'm actually less judgemental now than when I was younger (shut up back there in the peanut gallery). Like you I don't tolerate flakiness and such, I just sidestep the situation more readily without feeling that I need to look back.speakeasy said:My guess is that the P/J is the easist to change, I used to be very P'ish but now straddle the line between P and J. As I've gotten older, I have less tolerance for flakiness, indecisiveness, clutter, disarray so I'm moving more towards the J side.
Heh, I'm an ENTP with J tendencies as well. Go figure.Francisco d'Anconia said:Surprising I had been an INTJ for a better part of my life. Over the last 10 years I evolved into a ENTP/J.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Most badboys have the ESFP personality type, so probably a good one for attracting women.smooth guy said:eSfP and dont know what the hell it means
Not bad with the female gender.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.