"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
What is your personality/meyer-briggs type?
- Thread starter speakeasy
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
PeterNorthisawesome
Banned
Create Reality
Master Don Juan
Without giving it a whole lot of thought, I would think just about any of the profiles could be effective DJs with the right knowledge in-hand. As a natural "introvert", I have never and will never be the life of a party; it just ain't gonna happen. But one-on-one? I'm a sly, fully manipulating, and capable SOB
. I think "it" works because introverts are naturally mysterious and if you open that door to a woman you're interested in, you're letting her into a world that you don't let many people into and I think they can recognize that its something special when "you" do that.Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Is that even possible? I guess one is what they do, but it seems like it would be pretty hard to kill natural tendancies. That's worth me googling to see what the so-called experts say about that.Francisco d'Anconia said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Who's to say that I was naturally an INTJ? I will admit that during my youth society had way more influence over my behavior. But still, change is always possible if a person is truly willing and authentically wants to.azanon said:
I just had the understanding that once you're an adult, your personality is relative set, and though you can operate out of a comfort-zone, it doesn't change the actual zone (that much).Francisco d'Anconia said:
............
(edit) found this at personalitytype.com
"2. Isn't it possible to change our type as a result of experiences or as a result of pressure to be different?
Under most "normal" circumstances, no. While we may change the way we behave and may develop all kinds of adaptive or accommodating skills or habits, we do not change our personality type. Now, under extraordinary circumstances (i.e. serious child abuse, extensive experience in a lifestyle or career that runs counter to your normal operating style), people can and sometimes do become so affected (or damaged) that they no longer recognize their "true" selves. But in most situations, all we are really changing is our behavior - not our inborn preference." "
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I've been challenging the concept of "inborn preferences." Even though we have certain patterns we follow due to the remaining nural pathways we retain as adult, those basically are our innate talents. As for our actions and what we prefer to do, I don't believe that they're inborn.azanon said:
People aren't typically born knowing how to do things straight out of the womb. People tend to learn actions, skills and behavior and gravitate to those which relate to innate talents or learned beliefs.
Talents and strengths are pretty much in an adult's foundation. Their actions and beliefs are offshoots which are formed though experiences (parents, society, school, peers, whatever provides influence for the person).
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
My guess is that the P/J is the easist to change, I used to be very P'ish but now straddle the line between P and J. As I've gotten older, I have less tolerance for flakiness, indecisiveness, clutter, disarray so I'm moving more towards the J side.azanon said:
I think it's possible for an I to pretent to be an E for awhile, but not without expending a lot of energy. Remember, Es and Is are defined by what energizes them. Es get their "batteries" charged by socializing, Is get their batteries charged by solitude. So when an E leaves a club, he's pumped up and ready to go to the after party. An I probably wants to go home and relax after a long night of socializing.
I think the S and N are pretty much fixed. And I think T and F are mostly fixed. I've never been an emotional, touchy feely person and can't imagine myself ever being one. In fact, overly emotional people can be annoying.
There have been differing periods in my life where I could say I leaned toward one personality type more than another.
If we have evolved, then this proves that the brain is adapting to different environments to produce the most efficient outcome.
I do not believe personality is static. I haven't researched this, but I highly doubt Myer-Briggs developed these personality types based on scientific studies of the brain. I am more convinced these set personality types are just theory.
Come on, they can be the most fun.speakeasy said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Strangely I'm actually less judgemental now than when I was younger (shut up back there in the peanut gallery). Like you I don't tolerate flakiness and such, I just sidestep the situation more readily without feeling that I need to look back.speakeasy said:
Serialized3
Master Don Juan
Heh, I'm an ENTP with J tendencies as well. Go figure.Francisco d'Anconia said:
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
theunflushables
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 28, 2007
- Messages
- 1,104
- Reaction score
- 20
BlackJackal
Master Don Juan
smooth guy
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2007
- Messages
- 306
- Reaction score
- 3
Not bad with the female gender.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.