"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
What is your personality/meyer-briggs type?
- Thread starter speakeasy
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
PeterNorthisawesome
Banned
Create Reality
Master Don Juan
Without giving it a whole lot of thought, I would think just about any of the profiles could be effective DJs with the right knowledge in-hand. As a natural "introvert", I have never and will never be the life of a party; it just ain't gonna happen. But one-on-one? I'm a sly, fully manipulating, and capable SOB
. I think "it" works because introverts are naturally mysterious and if you open that door to a woman you're interested in, you're letting her into a world that you don't let many people into and I think they can recognize that its something special when "you" do that.Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Is that even possible? I guess one is what they do, but it seems like it would be pretty hard to kill natural tendancies. That's worth me googling to see what the so-called experts say about that.Francisco d'Anconia said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Who's to say that I was naturally an INTJ? I will admit that during my youth society had way more influence over my behavior. But still, change is always possible if a person is truly willing and authentically wants to.azanon said:
I just had the understanding that once you're an adult, your personality is relative set, and though you can operate out of a comfort-zone, it doesn't change the actual zone (that much).Francisco d'Anconia said:
............
(edit) found this at personalitytype.com
"2. Isn't it possible to change our type as a result of experiences or as a result of pressure to be different?
Under most "normal" circumstances, no. While we may change the way we behave and may develop all kinds of adaptive or accommodating skills or habits, we do not change our personality type. Now, under extraordinary circumstances (i.e. serious child abuse, extensive experience in a lifestyle or career that runs counter to your normal operating style), people can and sometimes do become so affected (or damaged) that they no longer recognize their "true" selves. But in most situations, all we are really changing is our behavior - not our inborn preference." "
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I've been challenging the concept of "inborn preferences." Even though we have certain patterns we follow due to the remaining nural pathways we retain as adult, those basically are our innate talents. As for our actions and what we prefer to do, I don't believe that they're inborn.azanon said:
People aren't typically born knowing how to do things straight out of the womb. People tend to learn actions, skills and behavior and gravitate to those which relate to innate talents or learned beliefs.
Talents and strengths are pretty much in an adult's foundation. Their actions and beliefs are offshoots which are formed though experiences (parents, society, school, peers, whatever provides influence for the person).
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
My guess is that the P/J is the easist to change, I used to be very P'ish but now straddle the line between P and J. As I've gotten older, I have less tolerance for flakiness, indecisiveness, clutter, disarray so I'm moving more towards the J side.azanon said:
I think it's possible for an I to pretent to be an E for awhile, but not without expending a lot of energy. Remember, Es and Is are defined by what energizes them. Es get their "batteries" charged by socializing, Is get their batteries charged by solitude. So when an E leaves a club, he's pumped up and ready to go to the after party. An I probably wants to go home and relax after a long night of socializing.
I think the S and N are pretty much fixed. And I think T and F are mostly fixed. I've never been an emotional, touchy feely person and can't imagine myself ever being one. In fact, overly emotional people can be annoying.
There have been differing periods in my life where I could say I leaned toward one personality type more than another.
If we have evolved, then this proves that the brain is adapting to different environments to produce the most efficient outcome.
I do not believe personality is static. I haven't researched this, but I highly doubt Myer-Briggs developed these personality types based on scientific studies of the brain. I am more convinced these set personality types are just theory.
Come on, they can be the most fun.speakeasy said:
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Strangely I'm actually less judgemental now than when I was younger (shut up back there in the peanut gallery). Like you I don't tolerate flakiness and such, I just sidestep the situation more readily without feeling that I need to look back.speakeasy said:
Serialized3
Master Don Juan
Heh, I'm an ENTP with J tendencies as well. Go figure.Francisco d'Anconia said:
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
theunflushables
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 28, 2007
- Messages
- 1,104
- Reaction score
- 20
BlackJackal
Master Don Juan
smooth guy
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2007
- Messages
- 306
- Reaction score
- 3
Not bad with the female gender.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.