You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Is that even possible? I guess one is what they do, but it seems like it would be pretty hard to kill natural tendancies. That's worth me googling to see what the so-called experts say about that.Francisco d'Anconia said:Surprising I had been an INTJ for a better part of my life. Over the last 10 years I evolved into a ENTP/J.
Who's to say that I was naturally an INTJ? I will admit that during my youth society had way more influence over my behavior. But still, change is always possible if a person is truly willing and authentically wants to.azanon said:Is that even possible? I guess one is what they do, but it seems like it would be pretty hard to kill natural tendancies. That's worth me googling to see what the so-called experts say about that.
I just had the understanding that once you're an adult, your personality is relative set, and though you can operate out of a comfort-zone, it doesn't change the actual zone (that much).Francisco d'Anconia said:Who's to say that I was naturally an INTJ? I will admit that during my youth society had way more influence over my behavior. But still, change is always possible if a person is truly willing and authentically wants to.
I've been challenging the concept of "inborn preferences." Even though we have certain patterns we follow due to the remaining nural pathways we retain as adult, those basically are our innate talents. As for our actions and what we prefer to do, I don't believe that they're inborn.azanon said:I just had the understanding that once you're an adult, your personality is relative set, and though you can operate out of a comfort-zone, it doesn't change the actual zone (that much).
............
(edit) found this at personalitytype.com
"2. Isn't it possible to change our type as a result of experiences or as a result of pressure to be different?
Under most "normal" circumstances, no. While we may change the way we behave and may develop all kinds of adaptive or accommodating skills or habits, we do not change our personality type. Now, under extraordinary circumstances (i.e. serious child abuse, extensive experience in a lifestyle or career that runs counter to your normal operating style), people can and sometimes do become so affected (or damaged) that they no longer recognize their "true" selves. But in most situations, all we are really changing is our behavior - not our inborn preference." "
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
My guess is that the P/J is the easist to change, I used to be very P'ish but now straddle the line between P and J. As I've gotten older, I have less tolerance for flakiness, indecisiveness, clutter, disarray so I'm moving more towards the J side.azanon said:Is that even possible? I guess one is what they do, but it seems like it would be pretty hard to kill natural tendancies. That's worth me googling to see what the so-called experts say about that.
Come on, they can be the most fun.speakeasy said:I don't mind if a girl is E I F J Tor P, but if she is S, then I just don't click with her.
Strangely I'm actually less judgemental now than when I was younger (shut up back there in the peanut gallery). Like you I don't tolerate flakiness and such, I just sidestep the situation more readily without feeling that I need to look back.speakeasy said:My guess is that the P/J is the easist to change, I used to be very P'ish but now straddle the line between P and J. As I've gotten older, I have less tolerance for flakiness, indecisiveness, clutter, disarray so I'm moving more towards the J side.
Heh, I'm an ENTP with J tendencies as well. Go figure.Francisco d'Anconia said:Surprising I had been an INTJ for a better part of my life. Over the last 10 years I evolved into a ENTP/J.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Most badboys have the ESFP personality type, so probably a good one for attracting women.smooth guy said:eSfP and dont know what the hell it means
Not bad with the female gender.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.