"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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What is your opinion on my situation?

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Don Juan
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Ok, here goes:

A few nights ago I went to a baseball game with all my coworkers. It's alot of fun, nobody really pays attention to the game, it's really just a good time to hang out and talk and stuff like that. Anyway, most of my coworkers are college students, and the girl who gave me a ride to the game was sitting next to me the whole time. I've known her for a long time, about 3 years, and never really considered her an option because of the age difference. I'm 17, she's 23. So we're talking and all that, and she tells me that her and a bunch of my coworkers are going to the local bar and asked if I wanted to go because they don't card on weekdays. I had to tell her no because I had to go home to my parents and my curfew is 11pm. Well, a few minutes later, just out of the blue she leans over to talk to me and tells me that if I ever wanted to come over to her appartment to drink with her, stay the night, and just hang out that it would be totally cool. I said sure, and we traded #'s. Anyways, I haven't talked to her about it since then, and was wondering if anyone thought it might be innuendo. Kinda like a "Why don't you come in for some coffee" thing.
Just lookin' for opinions on whether it might lead to more than just drinking. I am gonna take her up on her offer just to see where it leads. In anycase I get the chance to get wasted, so it's all good.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Porky

Master Don Juan
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MIGHT be innuendo?

If I said that to most of my female friends, that would simultaneously ruin the friendship and my reputation. Go for it, and go for it hard.
 

splinterkb

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2004
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Green light means GO!
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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