Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
This is the go-to deflection of yours to avoid addressing any of your fallacies, to avoid civil discourse, and to avoid taking responsibility for your behaviour.But I always reframe it to "you're just a random person on the internet, your approval doesn't matter that much".
And l obviously I barely acknowledge them because my frame is already needless for approval.
Your combined responses in discussions (and arguments) on other threads with members on this forum is a direct contradiction of this.The principle is if you had a life, you shouldn't have the energy to write 10000 words about a random stranger on the internet.
Projection. And ultimately a violation of the very "principles" you preach.People who don't know these principles end up looking like low value betas with too much time
Projection. This is behavior you display often and shamelessly on this forum.Anyone who comes out of their lanes to convince others how great they are ...... are coming from an inferiority complex.
Projection of your own behavior, which apparently some members have screenshots of PMs on here.The few guys on this forum that are self focused are the alpha ones. They don't gossip, start petty drama, stick their noses into other people's business, etc. That's all overcompensating behavior.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
In person, everyone instinctively knows who is the alpha male in the room.One thing I've noticed about all the big shots I've met in my life is that they've never had to tell anyone "I'm alpha". If you have to tell someone this, then it's pretty obvious you're not what you claim.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Alpha = First = SelfishMaximus in the Gladiator film is someone I think of as an "alpha male".
But like some others here I don't like the term "alpha male".
Alpha of course is the first letter of the Greek alphabet and generally means "first".
Yet, always trying to put yourself "first" is a childish way of thinking.
I think Einstein had it right when he said:
"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."
Translation: he an underemployed illegal immigrant who played Soccer in Honduas for one year, and BeExcellent normally picks up the tab.He's in an industrial supply type business and is a former pro-athlete.
Hockey.Translation: he an underemployed illegal immigrant who played Soccer in Honduas for one year, and BeExcellent normally picks up the tab.
If he played a real sport, she'd say "He played baseball/football/basketball/hockey". But no. He's "a former pro-athlete".
On the other hand, I've read about as many men's definition of "alpha male" as there are posters on this forum. They're less than a dime a dozen. I thought it would be interesting to hear a woman's definition for a change.Alpha=much ado about nothing,and if I did seek a definition it certainly would not be from a woman.
Nobody laugh. I've never seen that movie. Might have to watch it this week.Funny, I thought she was describing me. Amazing how we can carve a specific image at a young age and later become it.
Growing up, I watched Godfather a lot, and picked much of his strength, style, fairness, and charima. Outside of the "family business," Don Corleone is great working example of alpha.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Training day is a good exampleJust picture the dude from the Dos Equis "Most interesting man in the world" commercials...
Or Denzel Washington's characters in his movies. Almost all of them are alpha dudes.
So true. Think about women you dated or men you know who feel entitled to put themselves first and hence place their needs and wants above everyone else's. How likeable are those people, really?Maximus in the Gladiator film is someone I think of as an "alpha male".
But like some others here I don't like the term "alpha male".
Alpha of course is the first letter of the Greek alphabet and generally means "first".
Yet, always trying to put yourself "first" is a childish way of thinking.
I think Einstein had it right when he said:
"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."
I used to post on a dating forum which was mainly women. Kind of similar to this site but with a female focus.On the other hand, I've read about as many men's definition of "alpha male" as there are posters on this forum. They're less than a dime a dozen. I thought it would be interesting to hear a woman's definition for a change.
I'm aware there are some guys on here who wouldn't believe that 2+2=4 if it came from the mouth of a female. I think its best to base the merit of what people say on their actual words, rather than their gender.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.