Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
This is the go-to deflection of yours to avoid addressing any of your fallacies, to avoid civil discourse, and to avoid taking responsibility for your behaviour.But I always reframe it to "you're just a random person on the internet, your approval doesn't matter that much".
And l obviously I barely acknowledge them because my frame is already needless for approval.
Your combined responses in discussions (and arguments) on other threads with members on this forum is a direct contradiction of this.The principle is if you had a life, you shouldn't have the energy to write 10000 words about a random stranger on the internet.
Projection. And ultimately a violation of the very "principles" you preach.People who don't know these principles end up looking like low value betas with too much time
Projection. This is behavior you display often and shamelessly on this forum.Anyone who comes out of their lanes to convince others how great they are ...... are coming from an inferiority complex.
Projection of your own behavior, which apparently some members have screenshots of PMs on here.The few guys on this forum that are self focused are the alpha ones. They don't gossip, start petty drama, stick their noses into other people's business, etc. That's all overcompensating behavior.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
In person, everyone instinctively knows who is the alpha male in the room.One thing I've noticed about all the big shots I've met in my life is that they've never had to tell anyone "I'm alpha". If you have to tell someone this, then it's pretty obvious you're not what you claim.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Alpha = First = SelfishMaximus in the Gladiator film is someone I think of as an "alpha male".
But like some others here I don't like the term "alpha male".
Alpha of course is the first letter of the Greek alphabet and generally means "first".
Yet, always trying to put yourself "first" is a childish way of thinking.
I think Einstein had it right when he said:
"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."
Translation: he an underemployed illegal immigrant who played Soccer in Honduas for one year, and BeExcellent normally picks up the tab.He's in an industrial supply type business and is a former pro-athlete.
Hockey.Translation: he an underemployed illegal immigrant who played Soccer in Honduas for one year, and BeExcellent normally picks up the tab.
If he played a real sport, she'd say "He played baseball/football/basketball/hockey". But no. He's "a former pro-athlete".
On the other hand, I've read about as many men's definition of "alpha male" as there are posters on this forum. They're less than a dime a dozen. I thought it would be interesting to hear a woman's definition for a change.Alpha=much ado about nothing,and if I did seek a definition it certainly would not be from a woman.
Nobody laugh. I've never seen that movie. Might have to watch it this week.Funny, I thought she was describing me. Amazing how we can carve a specific image at a young age and later become it.
Growing up, I watched Godfather a lot, and picked much of his strength, style, fairness, and charima. Outside of the "family business," Don Corleone is great working example of alpha.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Training day is a good exampleJust picture the dude from the Dos Equis "Most interesting man in the world" commercials...
Or Denzel Washington's characters in his movies. Almost all of them are alpha dudes.
So true. Think about women you dated or men you know who feel entitled to put themselves first and hence place their needs and wants above everyone else's. How likeable are those people, really?Maximus in the Gladiator film is someone I think of as an "alpha male".
But like some others here I don't like the term "alpha male".
Alpha of course is the first letter of the Greek alphabet and generally means "first".
Yet, always trying to put yourself "first" is a childish way of thinking.
I think Einstein had it right when he said:
"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value."
I used to post on a dating forum which was mainly women. Kind of similar to this site but with a female focus.On the other hand, I've read about as many men's definition of "alpha male" as there are posters on this forum. They're less than a dime a dozen. I thought it would be interesting to hear a woman's definition for a change.
I'm aware there are some guys on here who wouldn't believe that 2+2=4 if it came from the mouth of a female. I think its best to base the merit of what people say on their actual words, rather than their gender.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.