Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Excellent point. Even if you're not using self deprecating humor, you can still come off as a clown using ****y and funny. I think what you are missing is kino. The formula for ****y and funny is more like ****y+funny+kino, that's the ultimate product and something that David D fails to mention.Sir Juanalot said:Are you the man that is funny, or the clown? Theres a distinct difference between the two.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
What he said.Jokerlsk said:DONT BE THE CLOWN! Trust me man, I was or still am viewed as the clown. It's hard to shed. So if you can avoid it, I honestly don't know how to get out of it myself. IF your the clown girls only think of you as a friend and someone that can make them feel better when their having a bad day e.g. getting dumped