"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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What if she left you because of communication issues?

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B0redandl0nely

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Howiestern said:
I get the AS thing, I've got many of the traits. I dated a girl that pointed it out to me. Once she realized I had a mild case, she became more understanding of how I was.

You will have to become better at addressing your shortcomings.

The movie "The Accountant" is a great window into what its like for someone with Asperger's and how they effect others around them. It helped me see a lot of myself.

You are going to have to get the fundamentals down first as the others have mentioned.
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Would you tell her if you were me?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Thorninmyside

Thorninmyside

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Third topic, same girl. Just out of interest, what just the rest of your life consist of? Do you work, study, have hobbies? Do you work out? Do you have interesting things going on in your life that a woman would be intrigued by?
 
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B0redandl0nely

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I go to college and work out. That's about it. I have aspergers syndrome so my interests are limited. I also have bipolar disorder which makes me depressed most of the time.
 
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AJ84

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B0redandl0nely said:
Would you tell her if you were me?
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I think you should disclose ( when you feel comfortable doing so) the next time you start to really like a girl. If you don't you risk her wondering why you are acting a certain way and assuming things, as this girl did.

Hiding it implies you have some character flaw. You didn't choose to have AS or bipolar.

I'm not going to insult you by implying that your concerns have an easy fix. They don't, but the fact that you have insight into them can help you find ways to overcome some of the challenges that you may be facing with dating.

I have a close relative with AS. Some guys here are going to tell you to socialize more or talk to girls more or open up more without understanding the issue around communication and AS.

Also, if you are on a mood stabilizer for the bi polar and feel depressed most of the time as you stated you may want to talk to your doc about that. Effectively treating bi polar often involves a lot of trail and error with different meds and doses etc.
 
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B0redandl0nely

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MidnightCity said:
so this didnt even qualify as a relationship. thus there was never even a "breakup"

this girl did the right thing and did you a favor. consider yourself lucky
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I'm gonna hit her up again and see what happens. What do I have to lose? I'm talking to more girls on POF anyway.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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ubercat

ubercat

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Oh god another sperg who knows best. At this rate Richard the frog can setup as a dating coach.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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