"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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What exactly is confidence?

Babnik

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Is it that:

You WILL get her?
You CAN get her?

Shouldn't confidence build up on your experiences? If you get constantly blown off, how can you be confident?

Lets say you do 50 approachs and first 10 did not work, how could further approaches be made with confidence at all?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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The Nice Guy is Gone

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Because the confidence is within you, not necessarily with experiences. The frame of mind you should have when those first 10 reject you should be, "Well, it's their loss, not mine." Or something like, "They just lost out big-time."

Confidence starts in the mindset, and then builds up with approaching.
 

Babnik

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The Nice Guy is Gone said:
Because the confidence is within you, not necessarily with experiences. The frame of mind you should have when those first 10 reject you should be, "Well, it's their loss, not mine." Or something like, "They just lost out big-time."

Confidence starts in the mindset, and then builds up with approaching.

But thinking like that is just an excuse for your own POSSIBLE failure. I mean, its like saying "Oh, I got a D because I had a crappy professor!" while it was your performance that got you a D!
 

Docs

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Confidence is knowing you have the slightest chances for success, the greatest of failures, yet you still perform with the strength of determination without holding back.
 

blinkwatt

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Docs said:
Confidence is knowing you have the slightest chances for success, the greatest of failures, yet you still perform with the strength of determination without holding back.
Bingo! Couldn't have said it better myself.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Babnik

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Docs said:
Confidence is knowing you have the slightest chances for success, the greatest of failures, yet you still perform with the strength of determination without holding back.
And thats what women like? A guy who has SLIGHT chance of success and GREAT chance of failure?
 

blinkwatt

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Babnik said:
And thats what women like? A guy who has SLIGHT chance of success and GREAT chance of failure?
No thats not what he is saying. Even with the odds against you,you have faith in yourself to beats the odds.
 

Docs

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Babnik said:
And thats what women like? A guy who has SLIGHT chance of success and GREAT chance of failure?
No, it's about still trying even when you're facing the girl that makes you tremble, or the problem that makes you want to avoid it all together.
 

Babnik

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Espi said:
Confidence is doing what you feel regardless of the consequences...

Now, of course, I DO NOT mean stealing, raping, looting, or any other illegal activity in which yourself or others are harmed or degraded.

Confidence is approaching the hottest girl at the party, despite the possiblity of being rejected or shaking as you talk to her.

To rephrase an oft-quoted cliche: Confidence is not the absence of fear; it's acting in spite of the fear.

Confidence is saying what no else says, though it needs to be said.

Confidence is doing what no one else does, though it needs to be done.

Confidence is marked by self-content thoughts and actions, and a confident man doesn't much care if people love or hate him. Yet, he is liked by many.


You guys talk about COURAGE and PERSISTANCE.

Go to dictionary.com and type in CONFIDENCE. Its about being SURE or TRUST into something.

If you are NOT sure - you are NOT confident.
 

blinkwatt

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Babnik said:
Go to dictionary.com and type in CONFIDENCE. Its about being SURE or TRUST into something.
That sounds more like faith to me is the word they are looking for,to each their own.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Babnik

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So now it seems a lot of people really do not know what confidence is...maybe thats the problem.
 

bauer_23

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It's the difference between thinking you can and knowing you can.
 

Babnik

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bauer_23 said:
It's the difference between thinking you can and knowing you can.



OK, let me get it straight. You approach a girl and you should FEEL that "I can **** her" , right?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Babnik said:
Is it that:

You WILL get her?
You CAN get her?
Confidence has absolutely nothing to do with her and everything to do with you.
 

ChrizZ

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It is really weird. The more I get rejected, the more confident I get because I know that I can face my fear anytime, anywhere...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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The Nice Guy is Gone

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ChrizZ said:
It is really weird. The more I get rejected, the more confident I get because I know that I can face my fear anytime, anywhere...
Actually, when I get rejected now, when I end up getting home, I laugh about it. It's kind of funny these days, when I do get rejected.

Because I haven't lost a thing, and they have lost a great opportunity.
 

Bvbidd

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You just keep telling yourself that. :D

If they reject ya, they got a reason. You failed. Don't tell yourself anything else or your using the most mentally unhealthy defence mech there is, denial. :yes: There is more to girls then conquering your fear of em, lol.

Sorry, you needed that to come back down to the real world.
 

The Nice Guy is Gone

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Bvbidd said:
You just keep telling yourself that. :D

If they reject ya, they got a reason. You failed. Don't tell yourself anything else or your using the most mentally unhealthy defence mech there is, denial. :yes: There is more to girls then conquering your fear of em, lol.

Sorry, you needed that to come back down to the real world.
I'm in the real world--and I don't need you to tell me what I need. I'm happy, and I know what I want. And yeah, they may have a reason to reject ya, but more often than not, it's not a good one. So, before you start ridiculing someone and claiming that they are not in the real world, back up a bit.
 

Babnik

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Bvbidd said:
You just keep telling yourself that. :D

If they reject ya, they got a reason. You failed. Don't tell yourself anything else or your using the most mentally unhealthy defence mech there is, denial. :yes: There is more to girls then conquering your fear of em, lol.

Sorry, you needed that to come back down to the real world.
And who said the girls you approach are WORTH a guy who has the game and all that? Most girls I talk to open their mouth and CRAP comes out of it...
Nobody is perfect anyway.
 

Nighthawk

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Confidence is inversely proportionate to doubt. Arrogance is the absence of doubt, yet doubt is useful in moderation. So confidence is best achieved by entertaining doubt but not making it your master.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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