"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

What exactly is confidence?

Babnik

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2006
Messages
783
Reaction score
1
Is it that:

You WILL get her?
You CAN get her?

Shouldn't confidence build up on your experiences? If you get constantly blown off, how can you be confident?

Lets say you do 50 approachs and first 10 did not work, how could further approaches be made with confidence at all?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

The Nice Guy is Gone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2005
Messages
325
Reaction score
3
Because the confidence is within you, not necessarily with experiences. The frame of mind you should have when those first 10 reject you should be, "Well, it's their loss, not mine." Or something like, "They just lost out big-time."

Confidence starts in the mindset, and then builds up with approaching.
 

Babnik

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2006
Messages
783
Reaction score
1
The Nice Guy is Gone said:
Because the confidence is within you, not necessarily with experiences. The frame of mind you should have when those first 10 reject you should be, "Well, it's their loss, not mine." Or something like, "They just lost out big-time."

Confidence starts in the mindset, and then builds up with approaching.

But thinking like that is just an excuse for your own POSSIBLE failure. I mean, its like saying "Oh, I got a D because I had a crappy professor!" while it was your performance that got you a D!
 

Docs

Banned
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
3,571
Reaction score
56
Location
Kingston, Can-a-duh
Confidence is knowing you have the slightest chances for success, the greatest of failures, yet you still perform with the strength of determination without holding back.
 

blinkwatt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2005
Messages
1,904
Reaction score
7
Age
39
Docs said:
Confidence is knowing you have the slightest chances for success, the greatest of failures, yet you still perform with the strength of determination without holding back.
Bingo! Couldn't have said it better myself.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

Read more...

Babnik

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2006
Messages
783
Reaction score
1
Docs said:
Confidence is knowing you have the slightest chances for success, the greatest of failures, yet you still perform with the strength of determination without holding back.
And thats what women like? A guy who has SLIGHT chance of success and GREAT chance of failure?
 

blinkwatt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2005
Messages
1,904
Reaction score
7
Age
39
Babnik said:
And thats what women like? A guy who has SLIGHT chance of success and GREAT chance of failure?
No thats not what he is saying. Even with the odds against you,you have faith in yourself to beats the odds.
 

Docs

Banned
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
3,571
Reaction score
56
Location
Kingston, Can-a-duh
Babnik said:
And thats what women like? A guy who has SLIGHT chance of success and GREAT chance of failure?
No, it's about still trying even when you're facing the girl that makes you tremble, or the problem that makes you want to avoid it all together.
 

Babnik

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2006
Messages
783
Reaction score
1
Espi said:
Confidence is doing what you feel regardless of the consequences...

Now, of course, I DO NOT mean stealing, raping, looting, or any other illegal activity in which yourself or others are harmed or degraded.

Confidence is approaching the hottest girl at the party, despite the possiblity of being rejected or shaking as you talk to her.

To rephrase an oft-quoted cliche: Confidence is not the absence of fear; it's acting in spite of the fear.

Confidence is saying what no else says, though it needs to be said.

Confidence is doing what no one else does, though it needs to be done.

Confidence is marked by self-content thoughts and actions, and a confident man doesn't much care if people love or hate him. Yet, he is liked by many.


You guys talk about COURAGE and PERSISTANCE.

Go to dictionary.com and type in CONFIDENCE. Its about being SURE or TRUST into something.

If you are NOT sure - you are NOT confident.
 

blinkwatt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2005
Messages
1,904
Reaction score
7
Age
39
Babnik said:
Go to dictionary.com and type in CONFIDENCE. Its about being SURE or TRUST into something.
That sounds more like faith to me is the word they are looking for,to each their own.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Babnik

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2006
Messages
783
Reaction score
1
So now it seems a lot of people really do not know what confidence is...maybe thats the problem.
 

bauer_23

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 7, 2006
Messages
63
Reaction score
0
Age
46
It's the difference between thinking you can and knowing you can.
 

Babnik

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2006
Messages
783
Reaction score
1
bauer_23 said:
It's the difference between thinking you can and knowing you can.



OK, let me get it straight. You approach a girl and you should FEEL that "I can **** her" , right?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 10, 2003
Messages
15,481
Reaction score
65
Location
Galt's Gulch
Babnik said:
Is it that:

You WILL get her?
You CAN get her?
Confidence has absolutely nothing to do with her and everything to do with you.
 

ChrizZ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 12, 2006
Messages
2,028
Reaction score
27
It is really weird. The more I get rejected, the more confident I get because I know that I can face my fear anytime, anywhere...
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

The Nice Guy is Gone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2005
Messages
325
Reaction score
3
ChrizZ said:
It is really weird. The more I get rejected, the more confident I get because I know that I can face my fear anytime, anywhere...
Actually, when I get rejected now, when I end up getting home, I laugh about it. It's kind of funny these days, when I do get rejected.

Because I haven't lost a thing, and they have lost a great opportunity.
 

Bvbidd

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 16, 2006
Messages
1,482
Reaction score
8
You just keep telling yourself that. :D

If they reject ya, they got a reason. You failed. Don't tell yourself anything else or your using the most mentally unhealthy defence mech there is, denial. :yes: There is more to girls then conquering your fear of em, lol.

Sorry, you needed that to come back down to the real world.
 

The Nice Guy is Gone

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2005
Messages
325
Reaction score
3
Bvbidd said:
You just keep telling yourself that. :D

If they reject ya, they got a reason. You failed. Don't tell yourself anything else or your using the most mentally unhealthy defence mech there is, denial. :yes: There is more to girls then conquering your fear of em, lol.

Sorry, you needed that to come back down to the real world.
I'm in the real world--and I don't need you to tell me what I need. I'm happy, and I know what I want. And yeah, they may have a reason to reject ya, but more often than not, it's not a good one. So, before you start ridiculing someone and claiming that they are not in the real world, back up a bit.
 

Babnik

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2006
Messages
783
Reaction score
1
Bvbidd said:
You just keep telling yourself that. :D

If they reject ya, they got a reason. You failed. Don't tell yourself anything else or your using the most mentally unhealthy defence mech there is, denial. :yes: There is more to girls then conquering your fear of em, lol.

Sorry, you needed that to come back down to the real world.
And who said the girls you approach are WORTH a guy who has the game and all that? Most girls I talk to open their mouth and CRAP comes out of it...
Nobody is perfect anyway.
 

Nighthawk

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 22, 2005
Messages
2,078
Reaction score
29
Confidence is inversely proportionate to doubt. Arrogance is the absence of doubt, yet doubt is useful in moderation. So confidence is best achieved by entertaining doubt but not making it your master.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Top