what does attracting women with BPD tell us about a man

[tesla8520]

I've found out most of my life I tend to attract women with BDP or with those traits.

I can feel a genuine, instant, deep connection with them that I cannot feel with any woman, but at the same time I can still feel they are "fake" like the connection is so deep, but not "true". It's hard to explain in words, but you may know.

So i tell my self "This must tell something about me".

So there must be reasons I must attract those damaged chicks to me.

 

[The Duke]

I can tell you why I did.....
1. High empathy. I can connect with anyone pretty quickly. Doing so offers the instant validation they are looking for.
2. Tolerant. When they act out and get too emotional I used to tolerate a lot of it.
3. Love bombers. Most of them are. I liked the fast moving affection and sex that came with it. They also idealize you which they think you are the greatest thing ever and my ego liked that.

I've also attracted a lot of Daddy's girls for some of the same reasons.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Nothing great about it, never consider them for anything serious.

 

[Westminster]

In my experience, they home in on the vulnerable and the needy. That's what happened with me, so you need to keep your wits about you and be a bit critical and reflexive about why this particular woman is love bombing you and trying to railroad the relationship.

 

[tesla8520]

I can tell you why I did.....
1. High empathy. I can connect with anyone pretty quickly. Doing so offers the instant validation they are looking for.
2. Tolerant. When they act out and get too emotional I used to tolerate a lot of it.
3. Love bombers. Most of them are. I liked the fast moving affection and sex that came with it. They also idealize you which they think you are the greatest thing ever and my ego liked that.

I've also attracted a lot of Daddy's girls for some of the same reasons.

1) Me too (Biggest issue here), 2) Me too, 3) Yes they're attractive to me, but also a red flag.

How did you change to address this?
Or did you actually learned how to spot them and go no contact with them?

In my experience, they home in on the vulnerable and the needy. That's what happened with me, so you need to keep your wits about you and be a bit critical and reflexive about why this particular woman is love bombing you and trying to railroad the relationship.

Exactly, that’s why I wanted to hear the opinions of other mature men here and figure out where the problem was coming from.
I’m an empathetic man and I allow myself to be vulnerable (in moderation), but I’m not needy.
In fact, many women pick up on that and start playing hot and cold with me.
I find that intriguing, but I know how to put a stop to it.

And the only measure I’ve found that actually works is blocking her.

 

[The Duke]

1) Me too (Biggest issue here), 2) Me too, 3) Yes they're attractive to me, but also a red flag.
How did you change to address this?
Or did you actually learned how to spot them and go no contact with them?

I finally started recognizing the patterns and understood it better. I also got tired of the drama that comes with these girls and expected more than hot & fun out of a girl. I stopped committing and investing so much early on. It was just casual dating for seveal months before they got the serious girlfriend treatment so I could have time to figure out who they really were before I committed.

 

[BaronOfHair]

So there must be reasons I must attract those damaged chicks to me.

Most human beings have personality disordered traits, and we all tend to attract and gravitate towards what we are. So, Tes, are you exhibiting strong Cluster B traits at present?

 

[The Duke]

Most human beings have personality disordered traits, and we all tend to attract and gravitate towards what we are. So, Tes, are you exhibiting strong Cluster B traits at present?

Dr. Hair Baron, I have been waiting for your diagnosis sir! lol

 

[BaronOfHair]

Dr. Hair Baron, I have been waiting for your diagnosis sir! lol

Well, it's true, in my observation anyway:

The times I've paired up with troubled women were times in which I myself wasn't doing especially well

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've found out most of my life I tend to attract women with BDP or with those traits.

I can feel a genuine, instant, deep connection with them that I cannot feel with any woman, but at the same time I can still feel they are "fake" like the connection is so deep, but not "true". It's hard to explain in words, but you may know.

So i tell my self "This must tell something about me".

So there must be reasons I must attract those damaged chicks to me.

It means you are a target because those women target certain men and it's always ones they feel they can easily manipulate.

Men think this "just happens" where they keep finding the same type of women over and over again. No...those women found YOU, because through your interactions with them they see you as a target for them.