what does attracting women with BPD tell us about a man

[tesla8520]

I've found out most of my life I tend to attract women with BDP or with those traits.

I can feel a genuine, instant, deep connection with them that I cannot feel with any woman, but at the same time I can still feel they are "fake" like the connection is so deep, but not "true". It's hard to explain in words, but you may know.

So i tell my self "This must tell something about me".

So there must be reasons I must attract those damaged chicks to me.

 

[The Duke]

I can tell you why I did.....
1. High empathy. I can connect with anyone pretty quickly. Doing so offers the instant validation they are looking for.
2. Tolerant. When they act out and get too emotional I used to tolerate a lot of it.
3. Love bombers. Most of them are. I liked the fast moving affection and sex that came with it. They also idealize you which they think you are the greatest thing ever and my ego liked that.

I've also attracted a lot of Daddy's girls for some of the same reasons.

 

[justaroundthecorner]

Nothing great about it, never consider them for anything serious.

 

[Westminster]

In my experience, they home in on the vulnerable and the needy. That's what happened with me, so you need to keep your wits about you and be a bit critical and reflexive about why this particular woman is love bombing you and trying to railroad the relationship.

 

[tesla8520]

I can tell you why I did.....
1. High empathy. I can connect with anyone pretty quickly. Doing so offers the instant validation they are looking for.
2. Tolerant. When they act out and get too emotional I used to tolerate a lot of it.
3. Love bombers. Most of them are. I liked the fast moving affection and sex that came with it. They also idealize you which they think you are the greatest thing ever and my ego liked that.

I've also attracted a lot of Daddy's girls for some of the same reasons.

1) Me too (Biggest issue here), 2) Me too, 3) Yes they're attractive to me, but also a red flag.

How did you change to address this?
Or did you actually learned how to spot them and go no contact with them?

In my experience, they home in on the vulnerable and the needy. That's what happened with me, so you need to keep your wits about you and be a bit critical and reflexive about why this particular woman is love bombing you and trying to railroad the relationship.

Exactly, that’s why I wanted to hear the opinions of other mature men here and figure out where the problem was coming from.
I’m an empathetic man and I allow myself to be vulnerable (in moderation), but I’m not needy.
In fact, many women pick up on that and start playing hot and cold with me.
I find that intriguing, but I know how to put a stop to it.

And the only measure I’ve found that actually works is blocking her.

 

[The Duke]

1) Me too (Biggest issue here), 2) Me too, 3) Yes they're attractive to me, but also a red flag.
How did you change to address this?
Or did you actually learned how to spot them and go no contact with them?

I finally started recognizing the patterns and understood it better. I also got tired of the drama that comes with these girls and expected more than hot & fun out of a girl. I stopped committing and investing so much early on. It was just casual dating for seveal months before they got the serious girlfriend treatment so I could have time to figure out who they really were before I committed.

 

[BaronOfHair]

So there must be reasons I must attract those damaged chicks to me.

Most human beings have personality disordered traits, and we all tend to attract and gravitate towards what we are. So, Tes, are you exhibiting strong Cluster B traits at present?

 

[The Duke]

Most human beings have personality disordered traits, and we all tend to attract and gravitate towards what we are. So, Tes, are you exhibiting strong Cluster B traits at present?

Dr. Hair Baron, I have been waiting for your diagnosis sir! lol

 

[BaronOfHair]

Dr. Hair Baron, I have been waiting for your diagnosis sir! lol

Well, it's true, in my observation anyway:

The times I've paired up with troubled women were times in which I myself wasn't doing especially well

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've found out most of my life I tend to attract women with BDP or with those traits.

I can feel a genuine, instant, deep connection with them that I cannot feel with any woman, but at the same time I can still feel they are "fake" like the connection is so deep, but not "true". It's hard to explain in words, but you may know.

So i tell my self "This must tell something about me".

So there must be reasons I must attract those damaged chicks to me.

It means you are a target because those women target certain men and it's always ones they feel they can easily manipulate.

Men think this "just happens" where they keep finding the same type of women over and over again. No...those women found YOU, because through your interactions with them they see you as a target for them.

 

[remarkable]

A man that only attracts women with BPD tells me he is either lazy and/or incapable of attracting higher quality women

 

[rambambram]

This is like a zebra wondering why it attracts all these lions. There's nothing wrong with you, lions just have to eat. Of course it also says something about a man, probably that he has something to offer (probably not the thing that you want to offer) and is easily gullible or a little naive. But lions have to eat, so if you're chewing grass on the savanna and just doing your thing, these lions are preying on you. Their stake in the dynamic is bigger, has nothing to do with you. I'm not necessarily saying: be a zebra, because everybody here thinks of themselves as tigers probably. I'm just saying if you yourself don't have a personality disorder, you're the zebra in that dynamic. Doesn't mean predators always win and prey always loses. Zebras have hard hooves and a superb kicking ability, a lion bone can break and the lion doesn't hunt no more.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is like a zebra wondering why it attracts all these lions. There's nothing wrong with you, lions just have to eat. Of course it also says something about a man, probably that he has something to offer (probably not the thing that you want to offer) and is easily gullible or a little naive. But lions have to eat, so if you're chewing grass on the savanna and just doing your thing, these lions are preying on you. Their stake in the dynamic is bigger, has nothing to do with you. I'm not necessarily saying: be a zebra, because everybody here thinks of themselves as tigers probably. I'm just saying if you yourself don't have a personality disorder, you're the zebra in that dynamic. Doesn't mean predators always win and prey always loses. Zebras have hard hooves and a superb kicking ability, a lion bone can break and the lion doesn't hunt no more.

Exactly...that's the missing piece most men don't realize. They are viewed as "easy marks" by these women. Like someone looking to rob or run a scheme on someone...they look for "easy marks".

In the dating world, men who end up with BPH women are "easy marks" to them.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Men think this "just happens" where they keep finding the same type of women over and over again. No...those women found YOU, because through your interactions with them they see you as a target for them.

I think it's more you found each other because like attracts like, water attracts its own level yada yada It's a subconscious thing we are not even aware of it, all we know is there is a certain chemistry between you which is intangible and simply exists.

I noticed this myself when I was a hot mess due to earlier trauma; I attracted men who were also a mess, unstable whatever. .

Once we get emotionally healthier through therapy, introspection or we simply mature, we begin attracting people who are also more healthy.

Just my take on it having experienced it.

That said, it's not always that black and white either, it's nuanced but nonetheless makes sense.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I think it's more you found each other because like attracts like, water attracts its own level yada yada It's a subconscious thing we are not even aware of it, all we know is there is a certain chemistry between you which is intangible and simply exists.

I noticed this myself when I was a hot mess due to earlier trauma; I attracted men who were also a mess, unstable whatever. .

Once we get emotionally healthier through therapy, introspection or we simply mature, we begin attracting people who are also more healthy.

Just my take on it having experienced it.

That said, it's not always that black and white either, it's nuanced but nonetheless makes sense.

Well sure, that's true, but highly manipulative people look for people who are easy to manipulate and control and the easily manipulated tend to allow these women to use them precisely because they are easily manipulated and likely having these women doing things in the bedroom they never experienced before because they typically use hot wild sex as a means of control.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Well sure, that's true, but highly manipulative people look for people who are easy to manipulate and control and the easily manipulated tend to allow these women to use them precisely because they are easily manipulated and likely having these women doing things in the bedroom they never experienced before because they typically use hot wild sex as a means of control.

This is true too, as I said it's never black and white. BPD (Borderline Disorder) is its own brand of crazy though especially sexually, and yeah I have read and seen men lose their minds when involved with such women

Are you familiar with the Jodi Arias case? She was diagnosed BPD and her lover Travis Alexander was brutally murdered by her hands.

She may be like the worst case I've seen and yes she was highly highly manipulative and used her sexuality like a weapon and he became addicted to it and sadly lost his life in an utterly brutal way at 30 after he chose to move on.

But she was crazy throughout, and he chose to stay because of the hot crazy xxxx-rated sex.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Well sure, that's true, but highly manipulative people look for people who are easy to manipulate and control and the easily manipulated tend to allow these women to use them precisely because they are easily manipulated and likely having these women doing things in the bedroom they never experienced before because they typically use hot wild sex as a means of control.

The most crazed and blazing kinky shyte has been from those types for SURE. And it's fun. That's what is dangerous. Types who learned to consider this a novelty and not something they just HAVE to have aren't as easy to pull the wool over on. No one's beyond getting tricked or bamboozled, especially not by the wiles of some fast @ss Jezebel, but it is essential for a man to reach the point that P isn't an equal exchange for his finances, sanity or peace of mind.