Exactly...that's the missing piece most men don't realize. They are viewed as "easy marks" by these women. Like someone looking to rob or run a scheme on someone...they look for "easy marks".
In the dating world, men who end up with BPH women are "easy marks" to them.
Yes and no, if you'd ask me. Easy mark in their eyes does not necessarily mean that you're an easy mark. Lions make mistakes, especially because they are the predators and therefor have the (sometimes misplaced) confidence that they have an advantage. I was that "easy mark" for a couple of BPD/NPD women, because I lacked the experience at that point. I learned quick, my gut and intuition told me something was 'off', things just sensed fake. Luckily I was already in my thirties and socially more stable and self-aware than younger ones. I saw through the games, after some playing back and forth I decided I didn't want that and went no contact (which is something different than a silent treatment). But even after the going no contact there's something pulling on you, I guess it's the adrenaline of the rollercoaster that was before. It's basically comparable with an addiction, albeit a small one in my case.
So yes, in a sense these dynamics with BPD/NPD women tell you something about yourself. Be open and honest to yourself about that, despite all the emotions running through your body and mind in these tumultuous times with BPD/NPD. And one has to experience male/female dynamics with healthy women to learn that the BPD/NPD sh!te is f*cked up. But also don't make the mistake on blaming everything that happens with them on yourself (that's their blame game, don't fall for it). There's my comparison with the zebras/lions:
zebras are not attracted to lions, lions are attracted to zebras.
Don't forget - especially in today's climate - that most women think that most men are easily manipulated (they probably think that because... tadaa, a lot of men are easily manipulated). I only met a handful of girls/women who didn't display signs of thinking I was easily manipulated. I also advise to be hesitant with putting labels on women you meet. A lot of it is explained by normal female behavior, which is sometimes more mercurial than you and me like. On the other hand, if your gut or intuition is raising bigger and smaller red flags constantly, that in itself is a sign that the dynamic is not working for you. Act accordingly, drop that woman, go hang out and f*ck some other women... Use the BPD/NPD labels only for googling that sh!t and learning about it, these labels don't explain anything (the map is not the terrain, blablah), the signals that your intuition is giving are enough. So the answer to the question whether someone is BPD/NPD or not is not even relevant, except for understanding and googling to learn more about yourself and your pitfalls.
Pro tip: Don't even talk about these labels with your family and friends and co-workers (well, maybe with some people you really trust)! A lot of BPD/NPD sort of know they're in that 'group' because they have been diagnosed like that or have been called that multiple times in the past. You vocally signaling that you know about these labels - and worse - signaling that you don't know to shut your trap about these labels, might not make you an easy mark, but it might make you a threat to their social circle. They're not going to tell you that, obviously, so you end up with secret haters that are going to destroy your workplace for you, your friendships for you, etc.
