Went to a meetup, asked a lady out, interesting response

[glass half full]

I just realized that even though I've always wanted to try a meet-up, it might not be for me. Or, looking at it from another angle, perhaps I do.
Thinking it's not for me, as in a group of men and women which usually causes something I've dealt with too much in life...DRAMA.

But maybe I need to try this anyway so I can pick my own Drama, maybe it would be a more positive experience. Guess i'm still on the fence about meet ups. Something to look into more.

 

[glass half full]

The reason it might not be for me- is from past experience, i've always found that I do better with women one on one, rather than among a group of women.
Doesn't give them a chance for their friends (female, usually) to decide if you're good for them. Just a woman thing I think, as no men I know ever really care what their male buddies think about a prospective date, but women are the opposite.

 

[Spaz]

I tend to just say yes. I know that sounds un-alpha, but it's sort of like improv, they say something, you agree and see where it goes. Like someone else said, dominate the group.

Caveat: I moved abroad and am saying yes to everything in a new environment, so my paradigm has shifted.

Which part of the world ?

Seduce 1 local women to break social barriers there and be accepted faster then the norm.

After that it's smooth sailing.

 

[glass half full]

When I attend my first one, I want to sit back and watch and see what happens among everybody, etc.
If I jump in head first not knowing the "rules of the game" I'll end up crash and burn from inexperience.
That's what I'm getting at.

Like Confucious say...hungry man climb tree to get Cherry... Wise man spread limbs.

 

[Spaz]

I'm in Spain. Right now I'm doing the "get out and meet as many people as possible" stage, with a little Tinder in my spare time. Am definitely trying to get that 1st local, lol. It's a new puzzle to solve.

As an example of saying yes, a girl I met at a language exchange, not really my type at all, invited me to see a parade with her friends. So I went. Her friends were about a dozen people, mostly young women. We also went to a bar later and met up with a couple more people. I didn't get laid or even meet anyone that did it for me, but I came out better situated than when I went in.

I'll share something I learned from an older English man who travels a lot on business.

He gave me the advice I gave you and it rings true with each country I travel to whilst on business.

In a foreign country where my poor language skills stands out like a sore thumb - generally speaking this will inadvertly mark a man out.

You'll need to blend into your surroundings ASAP to thrive and flourish. It has to be done via a local woman.

Any woman will do - young, pretty, common plain Jane, older or divorced doesn't matter.

Get 1, she will then work hard to make sure you're accepted into HER society.

Then men in her surroundings will subconsciously acquiesced when their own womenfolk sublimely back her up - this right here is ur goal.

That's where you'll get ur social standing - this is important when in new surroundings, as much for ur protection as well as being a wolf in a sheep's clothing.

Barriers will drop.

You'll be free to do whatever your thing is in Spain then.

 

[RickTheToad]

Interesting way my thread turned into how to pick up ladies in foreign countries.....................

 

[Spaz]

Interesting way my thread turned into how to pick up ladies in foreign countries.....................

You could use it when u r in new surroundings

Think positively haha

 

[glass half full]

Good stuff here... Yes you could use it in new surroundings, language barrier not so much of an issue, just the local slang and cultural differences.
Didn't mean to high-jack your thread Rick.
Didn't think about starting another one, if I had the context wouldn't have been understood ...

 

[sazc]

Certainly going to try. I signed up for a meetup event for Friday. Guess who also signed up just a few minutes ago? Should be a fun night.

Neh.

I think you are confusing yourself with someone who was actually invested in a stranger. You're confusing yourself with someone who is going to let stranger rejection affect you socially. Think about it. You asked a stranger out, she knows nothing about you, and she wasn't ballsy enough to give you a chance.

She's still a complete stranger, do not let her behavior make you feel judged.

Go to the Meetup. At the appropriate moment, meet her gaze, smile a little and say hello. Then go about your business and mingle with other people. You are interesting and available.

 

[Glassguy]

@RickTheToad I was busy smashing and dashing much of the weekend so I am a little late to the after party. Let me chime in on a couple of posts:

Here's the crazy sh!t. Now she will not stop texting me.

I have made it known on here that I rarely burn bridges. However, when I do I burn them like a man and I torch them.

When she started texting you like crazy, she obviously wasnt that busy and she was a little vulnerable. Think of a salesperson dropping their pants in order to save a sell.

My response would have been "Why dont get your little @ss over her right now since you're not busy atm. We can discuss that and get to know each other much better".

I would intentionally put her on the spot. If she blew it off with "I am actually really busy...blah blah...." I would tell her to stop texting me then.

Please dont forget that these chicks love to fvck.

She said she was available any day, so I said how's Tuesday? Nope, busy, but offered then Sunday, so I agreed to Sunday night. She then said she's not available Sunday night, but would be available any day during the day, just doesn't want to meet at night. Oh, she then wanted to change the venue. I just said perhaps some other time. She just said ok, another time.

She is servicing other c0cks, therefore she isnt free in the evenings. A day meet up means low interest. Saying she is free "anytime" and then actually not being free when you start rambling off available times. This is another reason I say "what is your availability" when I am at this point with a chick. She offers 2 or 3 evenings, I pick one. Simple.

She is available for the c0cks she is riding currently. Which is exactly why I would have told her to come over in a sexual way the minute she started blowing up my phone with texts. That would have been the point where she would either come to my place or I would have lost her number. No date. Just come over.

 

[Glassguy]

I also think that the majority of your issue is you want a relationship and these women want to date and have fun. They only want a relationship with someone who they have to "catch". These chicks sense that you are trying for a relationship. If you want them to see you as relationship worthy, you must learn to get out of that scarcity mindset. Your job is to fvck them and have fun. Not try to pin them down. That is their job. Then your job is to resist and make her work a little harder at pinning you down and make her continue to invest more than you.

 

[glass half full]

I also think that the majority of your issue is you want a relationship and these women want to date and have fun. They only want a relationship with someone who they have to "catch". These chicks sense that you are trying for a relationship. If you want them to see you as relationship worthy, you must learn to get out of that scarcity mindset. Your job is to fvck them and have fun. Not try to pin them down. That is their job. Then your job is to resist and make her work a little harder at pinning you down and make her continue to invest more than you.

Exactly...

 

[glass half full]

It's the guy who seems like he's looking for a relationship that tends to scare them away, IMO.
They just want to sample the platter for now.

 

[RickTheToad]

Neh.

I think you are confusing yourself with someone who was actually invested in a stranger. You're confusing yourself with someone who is going to let stranger rejection affect you socially. Think about it. You asked a stranger out, she knows nothing about you, and she wasn't ballsy enough to give you a chance.

She's still a complete stranger, do not let her behavior make you feel judged.

Go to the Meetup. At the appropriate moment, meet her gaze, smile a little and say hello. Then go about your business and mingle with other people. You are interesting and available.

Will certainly proceed and not allow it to bother me in the group.

I also think that the majority of your issue is you want a relationship and these women want to date and have fun. They only want a relationship with someone who they have to "catch". These chicks sense that you are trying for a relationship. If you want them to see you as relationship worthy, you must learn to get out of that scarcity mindset. Your job is to fvck them and have fun. Not try to pin them down. That is their job. Then your job is to resist and make her work a little harder at pinning you down and make her continue to invest more than you.

I don't have a scarcity mindset. I have more matches than I can throw a stick at. Yes, for the last one I was aiming for something more stable, but that was after nearly 6 months of dating and her contacting me nearly every day with us seeing each other two times a week. I just took a shot at this one on a whim.

 

[marmel75]

Will certainly proceed and not allow it to bother me in the group.



I don't have a scarcity mindset. I have more matches than I can throw a stick at. Yes, for the last one I was aiming for something more stable, but that was after nearly 6 months of dating and her contacting me nearly every day with us seeing each other two times a week. I just took a shot at this one on a whim.

Scarcity mindset doesnt leave until you are banging multiple women, not more women you can "match".

Matching and banging are a long way apart sometimes

 

[RickTheToad]

Scarcity mindset doesnt leave until you are banging multiple women, not more women you can "match".

Matching and banging are a long way apart sometimes

Sometimes. I will admit, I need to work on my plate setup. Balancing available time with ladies is my biggest issue. I still have a lot of work to do, but I am trying. Not all ladies that I meet up with are bangable, that's the biggest issue. Seems many are one's who use pics from years ago, or 15 - 245 lbs ago. I never understood why they do that.

 

[glass half full]

Sometimes. I will admit, I need to work on my plate setup. Balancing available time with ladies is my biggest issue. I still have a lot of work to do, but I am trying. Not all ladies that I meet up with are bangable, that's the biggest issue. Seems many are one's who use pics from years ago, or 15 - 245 lbs ago. I never understood why they do that.

Seen this myself...I end up thinking, "Ahh, now I'm meeting the real you!" Lmao...no of course never say it, but...yeah.
I've noticed that too. It's fake...not a good sign of their self image. I've seen this a lot, they are often even so bold as to show the difference right in their profile. That's particularly upsetting to me, to look at a pic and think "yeah" and then on the same page to see the same gal 40lb. heavier and looks like she just got up.

 

[steelpulse]

You did the right thing insisting on a one on one.

Observations about meetup:

-over 40, the people tend to be mellow overall but very reluctant to enter into relationships. Lots of people who are heavily damaged emotionally. A few weirdos and people obsessed with their power as organizers, but overall mellow.

-under 40, wildly immature whether they are 39, 29 or 19. Most in this category conversely are desperate to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. Lots of douchebags, lots of people who don't have a social life outside of meet up. But they key word here is desperation. It seems like lots of people are using this as their last ditch effort to get hookedup.

My impression and experience has been that there has an uptick in the quality of the women attending recently. It could just be a blip or an actual trend, who knows.

 

[MatureDJ]

NEXT!

 

[RickTheToad]

You did the right thing insisting on a one on one.

Observations about meetup:

-over 40, the people tend to be mellow overall but very reluctant to enter into relationships. Lots of people who are heavily damaged emotionally. A few weirdos and people obsessed with their power as organizers, but overall mellow.

-under 40, wildly immature whether they are 39, 29 or 19. Most in this category conversely are desperate to find a girlfriend or boyfriend. Lots of douchebags, lots of people who don't have a social life outside of meet up. But they key word here is desperation. It seems like lots of people are using this as their last ditch effort to get hookedup.

My impression and experience has been that there has an uptick in the quality of the women attending recently. It could just be a blip or an actual trend, who knows.

It felt like she was doing me a favor by seeing me, but then changing the dates. I asked first, what day works for you? She replied, any day really. How's Tuesday? Can't do Tuesday, LOL. Are you free Sunday she asks? I said sure, let's do Sunday at 7pm at so and so. Looking forward in getting to know you. Can't at night, how about during the day she asks? I just said perhaps another time. So weird. It was a complete turn off for me when she said she's free any day, but not Tuesday, then on Sunday, says not at night. Just weird.